I give comment on third paragraph:
Nevertheless, for every solution
, technology provides twice as many problems are likely to cause. The modern technology is to some extent underlying causes of negative things in our society.
It's Internet(no abbreviation and need 'the' before Internet) = the Internet, for instance, provides an accessible medium for
bad[=disapproved - more formal] elements such as pornography and crimes
and so on[use in speaking].
T he teenagers who are not conscious enough tend to imitate the sexual and
violenceviolent clips and images on
the internet. A typical example of this is the massacre in an American school
[:| :|] . A pupil killed his classmates by his father 's gun
simply because he only acted as a clip he saw
--> [An action such as killing classmates by father's gun of a pupil was followed by some severe clips on the internet] . Moreover, the average rate of girls who are pregnant is very soon because of sexual images'
s influence.
[why???, I think it is funny]I think you can change the example in this paragraph :)
In conclusion. similar to everything. modern technology has both advantages and drawbacks. I personally think that it depends on how we use the modern tools. People should aware of technology's role to solve its bad effects
1, In conclusion
, similar to everything
,2, advantages and disadvantages; benefits and drawbacks; merit and demerit - sound like better.
3. People should
be aware
of technology's role to solve its bad effects.