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'ways of becoming mature and courageous' - There's no success like failure


azurek14 2 / 7  
Aug 8, 2012   #1
Hello guys, I'm 15 years old and my writing is not very good. Please help me fix it and provide me with some more tips to make it better ^^ thank you all first!

Topic: " There's no success like failure"
What is your view on the idea that success can begin with failure? In an essay, support your position using an example ( or examples) from literatuer, the arts,...

here my answer:

"Life is difficult"- Nobody can deny this ruthless fact. If you want to survive, you must learn how to face death. If you want to succeed, you must learn how to fail. "You always pass failure on the way to success," Mickey Rooney said and I, absolutely concur with him.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm," Sir Winston Churchill said. You can't get away from the fact that failure creates our powerful ability. Each one will give us unforgettable experiences, which is prestigious for our future. Failure can also train us to be men of a firm stuff, as he had trained Einstein - a so-called a scientist with lots of failure. On the way to complete the theory of relativity, he had endured being called "fiasco". But he did not back down and finally turned his heartfelt dreams into his daily reality. If he could live his dreams with the failure's help , why couldn't we?

Because we are human, we inevitably have flaws and consequently, failure. "We all have a few failures under our belt. It's what makes us ready for the successes"- Randy K. Milholland. For example, the ex-outstanding president of the USA - Abraham Lincoln had failed a lot on the way to exclude chattel slavery system from this country. In addition, do you know how many ways Thomas Alva Edison had found to create light bulb were? It's more than 10000 ways. But more surprisingly, they all did not work before the last one. Maybe with you they were all failure, but with him, it paved the way for the imminent glorious achievement.

Have you ever had any wish to be a paragon one, who is faultless and will never meet with failure? I have never expected to be that one. Because life without failure just makes people too complacent and that's why causes the deterioration of mankind progress. Never having to think how to tackle your problem of your acrimonious failure will slow down your ability, your fastidious brain. If life is without failure, we definitely don't have the Facebook - the largest social network in the world now, because its creator- Mark Zuckerberg might be lying on the beach at present.

Through all of the above examples, we can clearly see that success can begin with failure. Failure builds us a powerful ability, makes us ready for the successes, makes us stronger,...We need failure to be more and more mature and courageous, we need failure to be really successful in our life!
April April 13 / 148 22  
Aug 9, 2012   #2
I think the first half of your essay had so many quotes that they became pretty hackneyed to me.
Also, I don't know what type or what the purpose of this essay is, but I'd like to see more reasons and arguments instead of so many famous people's failures. Just choose a few of them to support your main ideas (which are the reasons why you support the statement), and elaborate on those main ideas.

Just my opinion.

By the way, ''the ex-outstanding president'' should be ''the OUTSTANDING FORMER president''.

Best
OP azurek14 2 / 7  
Aug 9, 2012   #3
yes,thank you so much but i have typed its topic above
it is my first essay of this type so i find it very hard to present reasons and arguments,can you help me with some?
AuRyou 1 / 2  
Aug 11, 2012   #4
I think the first half of your essay had so many quotes that they became pretty hackneyed to me.

I agree with him, you used too many quotes.

Don't focus too much on other's failures. Just choose one or two and expound it. Or you can write something that relates to what have happened to you.
Ibrik 2 / 1  
Aug 11, 2012   #5
Yes, you should use two or three examples.
Try to use the structure:
1)Make introduction on what you are writing about.
2) Give a reason and spend the first body part on supporting your reason
3)Then give another reason and support it (Don't use more than one example i each part)
4) Conclusion should contain no less words than introduction. Try to use at least 300 words for your essay.
Guess, that will help :)


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