If you prepare for IELTS task, you need to have at least a four para essay. It should include introduction, two body paras and the conclusion. This is essay structure is important for you to earn marks.
Some people feel that when visiting other countreis, it is better to follow certain rules of behaviour and learn about local customs.
.... align this opening sentence with the topic;
Some people feel that the foreign visitors are required to follow local customs and behaviors during their visit. However, others view that host country should appreciate cultural diversity and therefore the foreign visitors should not be burdened with local customs and traditions.varieted cultures.
... varieted is wrong... there is no such word; Try "diverse cultures"
By contrast, hostility toward foreigners and foreign culture may act as a serious drawback toattractiveattract tourists.