Do you think it would be best to leave that sentence out?
no, just change the pursuit of happiness part. Putting people's life back on track doesn't mean allowing them to resume their pursuit of happiness, since not everyone's pursuing happiness, or if you actually think that that's everyone's ultimate goal, then you'd have to explain and it's an entire hassle to prove such theory.
and the essay is supposed to be around 250 words :)
ah, i see. OH, that's right, we had to do 1 short one and 1or2 long ones right? It's been awhile since I did my umich app. the word length is perfect then.
I soon realized my logic was wrong
I realized - when and soon don't go together.
I began to love to observe human interaction and to analyze the way people talk and react.
Sry, I don't know why I suggested infinitive, but "to love observing...and analyzing" sounds a lot less awkward.
something universal to heal peoples' hearts
something universal that would heal. This way, the "something" becomes a subject, which puts emphasis on it i think.
of helping wounded people
lol almost missed it. great addition :)
I want to be "Quick-eyed Love" who can notice somebody's suffering and make him feel loved, welcomed, and worthy.
I'd say "I wish to be xxxx, the protagonist in the story, (this way, you don't have to repeat the book's name) who is able to (better than "can") notice someone (idk, i just like to use someone haha)'s suffering and make that person (politically correct :D) feel loved, ..."
overall, much clearer essay, and almost ready for submission! (i say almost because you should get an english teacher or your advisor to check it one last time for grammar and syntax before submitting it) I personally don't see anymore mistakes, and I think that it's very well written. Job well done!