Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.
How do you think children should spent their free time.
How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Childhood is the period of our life that we do not know what is best for us and what harms us and many other things that we prefer leaving to our parents to do what best for us. One of many things that parents should be in charge of is the time children spend doing their school work and the time given for them as a free time. Thus, it is better for parents to know whether they are giving their children too much free time or not, and to know if that time should be utilized to do school working or other things that might be more benefit for them.
As researches indicate, children have a huge energy and great capabilities to do many things. I have a little sister who spends half of her day at school studying and playing with her friend, and when she gets back home she keeps playing with the neighbors' children until I call her for to revise her subjects and doing her homework. She finishes them as fast as she can so she can get back to the games she left. But as an adult, I make sure that she utilizes her free time of things other than playing. Children need to use their time with activities that improve their skills such as going to a swimming pool or riding horses or even visiting a zoo. They should use their free time with things that have a long term impact on them. Although playing is considered good for them, it is not enough alone.
It is a must to give children the time that let them free their internal energy, where this energy may turn into creativity one day, parents may have to ask the school consultant of the best activities that their children could do in their free time. In addition, it is the parent's duty to know how much time their children need for their school working, they should consult their children's' teachers to know how much is the time needed, because every child has his or her own capabilities that differs from other children.
In my opinion, I think two hours school working at home is enough, and the rest of the time is better to be used in other activities such as swimming at summer and playing puzzles or chess at winter. Well, at least that is what I make sure that my little sister is doing in her free time.
Do you think I can score above 7 regarding this essay ?
Thanks in advance,
Islam :)
Hi,
First of all it is the "IELTS" test, not "ILETS". Unfortunately, this essay cannot get the score of 7, because of the following reasons:
1) The words used in this essay were not strong enough.
2) organization was not suitable: U should write the essay according the template that I wrote below:
Introduction
Body (a paragraph about the first view stated in the topic, another paragraph about the second view, and the third one for your opinion and the ways that u think children should spend their free times on)
Conclusion
3) U should use complex sentences with strong structures in order to get band score of 7 and above,
4) repetition is another problem of the essay
