Hi, my TOEFL exam is in 3 weeks. I'm timing myself when I do the writing practice and I have not made any corrections. I will highly appreciate guidance and corrections, I feel that my essays are very poor in vocabulary. I would like to know if it seems organized and meet some of the TOEFL scoring rubric. Thank you ahead for the help!
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Nowdays there are different resources to entertain, educate and inform people. One of this resource is television; however television has some negative effects among some people. Therefore, I agree that Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Some People spend a lot of time watching television, others even eat watching television, and some others make of this media a priority.
First of all, some people spend a lot of time watching television. Instead of spend time with family and friends, they like to seat on a chair for hours. I know someone who wakes up in the morning and before even eat he turns the television on, he even records the programs he cannot watch during work hours. Sometimes his wife wants to talk before they go to work, but he only let her talk during commercials. So, she is used to his habit that she prefers to write him an email. Time with the family is gold, some people have to realize that and take quality of time to talk to them.
Another way television has destroyed communication is when some people cannot even seat at the table and have dinner with the family. This is the time, when if they have children, they can share everything about school, a project and even concerns. Also, when there is a dinner with friends, some people do not have a fluid conversation because the television is again in between them. When family or friends gather together to have a good time eating and talking, this is not the reality in some cases.
Finally, some people make the television a priority. I remember a friend told me one day that because she was watching a telenovela I could not go to her house a certain time during the night. Honestly, I was in shock! How she could say that to me?.
As I have said, television is a great tool to learn, entertain and inform what is happening, but I agree that television has destroyed communication among friends and family as soon as television become a priority, spend a lot of time watching it and eat in front of the television.
Hi Maria, i think that there is something that you need to change in your essay :
First, it is not advisable to start your essay with nowadays. You can replace it with "in today society" etc. Furthermore it's source, not resource. And if i were you i would write like this :
" Since the emergence of information technology, it is unarguable that there are numerous sources for individuals to entertain or gain information, including TV. However, that it has posed some negative effects on human's life, namely deteriorating people's relationships, still remains an issue of debate. It is my view that a person might lose his relationships by watching tv too often "
Furthermore, in your essay there are quite a lot of grammatical mistakes. for example " Instead of spending" not spend, before even eating not eat etc
Finally i think that you should not use a question in your essay. it seems quite informal. And there are some sentences that seem nonsense : I know someone who wakes up in the morning and before even eat he turns the television on, he even records the programs he cannot watch during work hours. Too long
However you have interesting ideas :D. Try to change words and use academic structures more
That's my opinion. Hope that it helps you
One of this resource is television;
One of these resources is televisionhowever television has some negative effects among someon people.
Nowdays there are different resources to entertain, educate and inform people. One of this resource is television; however television has some negative effects among some people. Therefore, I agree that Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
Well... you don't really align your writing with the prompt. It talks about how TV affects one's communication between his family and friends. Focus more on that fact and align your writing with it.
Instead of spend time with family and friends, they like to seat on a chair for hours.
Instead of spending time with family or friends, they indulge themselves sitting in front of a TV for hours watching their favorite TV programs.but he only lets her talk during commercials
... hey... this is too bad :D Does the marriage still survive?
So, she is used to his habit that she prefers to write him an email.
.... this is even worse .... lol.... but you are right, there are funny people like these nowadays :D
seat at the table
... This should be;
sit at the table not
seatExamples;
People sit together.
There is only one seat available in this room.
