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IELTS; Try new things or repeat things we know?


norza 3 / 6  
Apr 7, 2013   #1
Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try. New things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and example to support your choice

People have different attitude and understanding.. Some people like to do what he have it or continue living on that, but some other people are like to do some new thing or try to more advantage or benefit in their life without concern for risk. As for me I m prefers to do what I have and no like to try new thing as no take risk ether.

According to the people like to do only what they already do well. These kinds of people have more comfortable and suitable job him or her. They have not take risk and no tension for failing the business or huge lost the profit. They want safe or simple life and no more popular or surprise to other. Also may be they have no budget to trying new things. For example like teacher. Very simple and not risks for life

But some are very brave to take risks to prefer for new things. They are very confident and intelligent. No need to concern to their future life and try to get more benefit or profit in life. For example some of business man is very greedy to get profit. First time they are selling very simple and then increase the quality of goods. After year ago they try to selling the illegal goods. Because they have get double profit then the simple goods, but I don't think that the entire risks job are not illegal or bad. also some people want to do some more surprise or popular in their life.

In my conclusion, I would to say that whether taking this or that. its all are our choice and no one will control it. i am very afraid to taking risk in my life. this is our life.

p.s. HI friends ., is this essay is too shot for iellts exam.
thank you for every one...
christyzhongs 7 / 21 1  
Apr 7, 2013   #2
Hi, Norza, your essay's length is OK, with 296 words.

But I think you would better think of your supporting sentence for each point of view. like your 2nd pharagrah, the teacher example seems reluctantly, and I am confuse on the meaning of 'no budget for the change'.

Maybe you can think of the following points for 'no change'
Doing well - they are proud of their current positions; got respects from others; finish the jobs quickly
Stable - less pressure, work life balance,
...

Hope it helps. thx.
Kateybaby 2 / 4  
Apr 7, 2013   #3
Definitely I would love to try new thing b/cuz life gets boring if you only stick to what you're familiar with. That's what I prefer for.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 7, 2013   #4
People have different attitude andunderstanding

.... Why did you use the word "understanding"? ... It really does not go with this idea."Attitude" is fine.
My suggestion;
People have different attitudes and perceptions. ... perception has somewhat close meaning to understanding, but it refers to how you view things.

Some people like to do whathethey are used to dohave it or continue living on that , but some other people are like to do some new thingsor try to more advantage or benefit in their life without concern for risk .

... do not lengthen your sentences too much. That disturbs your flow of ideas and tend to confuse the reader. This is my suggestion;
Some people do not mind repeating what they do on routine. They rather feel uncomfortable to try new things. However, there are others who are more adventurous and love to try new things and these people are ready to take risks. They get bored repeating the same thing. .... short sentences are more effective expressing ideas :)
xucoi 14 / 41 10  
Apr 8, 2013   #5
Hi norza : I also have some suggestions.

People have different attitude and understanding..

We all have a different perspective and perception from another.

Some people like to do what he have it or continue living on that, but some other people are like to do some new thing or try to more advantage or benefit in their life without concern for risk

You can replace "like" by other word having the same meaning.
Some people like to keep on living their routine, but others choose the new way that enjoy life of risk taking.

These kinds of people have more comfortable and suitable job him or her

their life is always stable and their works hardly ever change day by day.
By the way, there are many small mistakes of grammar in your essay. :D. I'm also improving those errors. Hope you can do it.:D.
homsai 11 / 24 5  
Apr 9, 2013   #6
"In my conclusion, I would to say that " -> "In my opinion, I would say that"

I believe it was a grammar error, when you wrote "I would to" may be you thinking "I would like to"?


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