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Travel broaden the horizon and knowledge; communications between countries


kate36 1 / 3  
Feb 7, 2011   #1
Hi Everyone, i am preparing for ielts exam can someone please check this essay for me.

Topic- Does travel help to promote understanding and communication between countries

In the present age travel has become increasingly popular. Due to the discovery of efficient mediums of transportation it has become easier and more comfortable to go to distant places. Some people travel for business some to meet with relatives and friends and some to simply relax. Besides it is generally agreed that travel fosters understanding and bridges the gap between the nations.

undoubtedly travel gives opportunity to learn and understand new culture by visiting places of interest like church, art,battlefields,and history museums first-hand. It also contributes to a persons knowledge and prevent them becoming insular. It gives chance to meet local people communicate with them share their experience make friends with them therefore reducing misunderstanding and discrimination between the countries. Travel also promotes cultural exchange as one gets a chance to learn about different lifestyles and develop taste for local cuisines. Indeed we can say that traveling to a new country can expand your knowledge and also enrich and enhance understanding of a new country.

Admitting the benefits of travel many schools and universities organize student exchange pro grammes, In which students go to foreign countries for certain period of time, live with a local host family and study in local schools so that the students interact with people from different backgrounds to understand their culture and gain valuable international experience.

In conclusion we can say that travel really help to promote understanding and communication between the countries owing to broaden the horizon and knowledge. In order to get real life experience and gain knowledge one should travel to different places.

Thanks
Kate
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 7, 2011   #2
Hi,

In the present ageToday travel has become increasingly popular. Due to the discovery of efficient mediumsmodes of transportation it has become easier and more comfortable for peopleto go to travel distant places. Some people travel for business and some to meet with relatives and friends andwhile some to simply relax. Besides it is generally agreed that travel fosters understanding and bridges the gap between the nationsdifferent cultures .

uU ndoubtedly travel gives an opportunity to learn and understand new cultures by visiting places of interest like churches , art galleries , battlefields (not all travellers are allowed for this type of travelling and it is also very dangerous to travel in such places. I doubt this is in line with your prompt),and history museums first-hand . It also contributes to a personsenhance one's knowledge and prevent them him becoming insular narrow-minded. (I prefer if you say; it also help one to broaden his perspectives) It gives chance to meet local people and to communicate with them to share their experience and make friends with them. tT herefore reducingtravel helps reduce misunderstanding between people belonging to diverse cultures and eliminateall forms of discrimination between the countries people.

Good Luck wity IELTS!!
MrTom 6 / 13  
Feb 7, 2011   #3
Besides it is generally agreed that travel fosters understanding and bridges the gap between nations .

It also contributes to a person's knowledge and prevent them becoming insular.

It gives chance to meet local people, communicate with them, share their experience and make friends with them, therefore reducing misunderstanding and discrimination between countries .

In conclusion we can say that travel really helps to promote ...
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In paragraph 2, you used too many "give". Try to use some other words such as "provide","offer"...
OP kate36 1 / 3  
Feb 8, 2011   #4
Thanks so much i appreciate your help, i will try to improve my mistakes. Can you advice me that other than the grammatical errors, is the content alright? Have i covered the topic well because my target score is band 7, for that i have to work hard as i am preparing on my own, so any suggestions from you will be a great help for me.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 15, 2011   #5
In the present age travel has become increasingly popular.

I don't like this first sentence. Just as a Samurai does not want to draw the sword without using it, the writer should not start to type without making sentences that can kill someone with their power. Every sentence, especially the first sentence, should be so interesting that it can kill you! Start each essay with words that can kill with their interestingness. :-)

Capitalize undoubtedly at the start of that second paragraph.

To improve the content, make a strong argument. TO make a strong argument, google this: how to refute the counter-argument

The counter-argument is like this: Tourists destroy cultures by creating pollution, commercialization, and... turning culture into a commodity. Some people argue that travel can destroy understanding among cultures because of the irresponsibility of tourists and the businesses that accommodate them.

Google this: sex tourism
Google this: tourism hurts local culture

See, if you write a paragraph about the counter-argument, you can show how that argument is not as strong as YOUR argument.

:-)


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