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Topic on Nuclear Technology - To what extend is it dangerous to life on Earth?



DhillonThreads: 1
Posts: 3
Author: Ramandeep Dhillon
   
Jul 19, 2011, 04:48am   #1
Hello Sir or mam , This is Ramandeep Kaur.Please check my essay and give required band scores for my essay.If you seem that my essay is totally wrong , so then please rewrite it.


To what extend is Nuclear Technology a dangerous to life on earth.What are the benefits and risks of its use.

Answer...

It has been widely noted that the use of nuclear technology has spread today.This technology bring itself a lot
of disasters.However its benefits are more than its threats.

To begin with, nuclear power is used to produce electricity.From nuclear power, poisonous gases like carbon
dioxide does not produse during electricity production.Futhermore, wastage due to produse power does not
effect anyone in its surrounding.As a consequece, nuclear power station generate electricity without pollution.

Apart from it, with the help of this technolgy, researchers could find the solution of dangerous disease called
cancer and other major problems.From the negative aspect, atom bombs are also the invention of this which
are used in wars.In these days, bombs are making so dangerous that they can destrust the large part of the
country.Plus, the biggest problem is the dangerous rays which come from this are very harmful to the life of humans.


To sum up, it depends upon the individual 's thinking that from which point he or she takes it.From positive aspect,
is is boon and from negative point , it is curse for us.



Thankyou!



ajit88raiThreads: 23
Posts: 274
Author: ARness (Ajit Rai)
 Likes 3  
Jul 19, 2011, 12:37pm   #2
hi,

It has been widely noted that the use of nuclear technology has spread today.This technology bring itself a lot
of disasters.However its benefits are more than its threats. (<-------intro is tooo short, without a theme sentence)

To begin with, nuclear power is used to produce electricity.From nuclear power, poisonous gases like carbon
dioxide does (is) not produse (produced) during electricity production.Futhermore, wastage due to produse (produce) power does not effect anyone in its surrounding (<-----this sentence isnt making any meaningful sense, rephrase it).As a consequece, nuclear power station generate electricity without pollution.

Apart from it, with the help of this technolgy, researchers could find the solution of dangerous disease called
cancer and other major problems (we have always read that nuclear radiation cause diseases like cancer, do tell from where u got the info that it is being used to cure it).From the negative aspect, atom bombs are also the invention of this which
are used in wars(rephrase this sentence too).In these days, bombs are making so dangerous that they can destrust (distrust) the large part of the country.Plus, the biggest problem is the dangerous rays which come from this are very harmful to the life of humans.


To sum up, it depends upon the individual 's thinking that from which point he or she takes it.From positive aspect,
is is boon and from negative point , it is curse for us. (<---very ordinary conclusion...make it impressive)






---I would say that the whole essay is pretty ordinary i think....u need to work a little on ur grammar-spellings n also write a five para essay for IELTS exam.

Dhillon:
.Please check my essay and give required band scores for my essay.If you seem that my essay is totally wrong , so then please rewrite it.

even "god helps those who helps themselves" n v all on this essay forum r just humans..... kindly feel free to get as many advices n suggestions u wish n re-write ur essay urself..... EF certainly doesnt encourage writing for others...


Good luck n cheers.


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Jul 21, 2011, 02:39pm   #3
Thanks Ajit, great stuff here!

Ramandeep, can you rewrite the essay based on the corrections Ajit gave?

For example, type this sentence:
With nuclear power, poisonous gases like carbon dioxide are not produced during electricity production.---This is the correct way. Practice each sentence the correct way, and speak the sentence aloud to gain the good English grammar habits.

Furthermore, waste due to production power does not affect anyone in its surrounding. As a consequece, nuclear power stations generate electricity without pollution.


Apart from it, In addition to that, with the help of this technology researchers could find the cures for dangerous diseases, such as cancer.

Practice the sentences the correct way. If you type the essay again in the post below, we will look to see if you still have errors.

Thanks for joining our community!




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