Unanswered [27] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


IELTS: The process of apple how to be canned; 'apple tree'


BOMAT_IRA 29 / 40  
Apr 19, 2014   #1
The diagram shows the process of apple how to be canned.

Generally, there are many steps of apple to be canned. It is start from hand picking process until dispatch process.

To begin, the apple comes from the apple tree which is hand picking by farmer. Then, the apples are brought by large truck to fabric. In fabric, the apple washed and it is chosen where is a good quality and bad quality. Next, the apple is saved in cold storing so that the quality always to be guarded.

After in cold storing, the apple weighing and peeling. Then, it is corning before it get canning process. Next, the apple is sealing and cooking or sterilizing for keeping this product quickly expired. Then, this product is labeling and is saving in storage before dispatch.

To summary, the process canned of apple is not easy because must be realize more process.



Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 19, 2014   #2
Then, it is corning before it gets canning process.
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 20, 2014   #3
fabric

hi bomat ira...

i think it will better if you change

fabric = factory
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 22, 2014   #4
The diagram shows the process of apple how to be canned.

.... this intro is not presented well :(
The diagram illustrates the detailed process of canning apples.

Generally, there are many steps of apple to be canned. It is start from hand picking process until dispatch process.

Overall there are fourteen stages that need to be completed for the total canning process of apples.

To begin, the apple comes from the apple tree which is hand picking by farmer

Everybody knows apples come from apple trees. It is no where shown in the diagram. All what you need to do is to report what you observe in the diagram;

First , the apples are hand picked and then transported for washing. Then the apples would be tested for quality and the ones that pass through quality test would be sent to cold stores.

this is how you should go about!
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 23, 2014   #5
Yes, as dumi mentioned above, avoid telling things that are not presented in those pictures. This task is to assess your report writing skills and stick to your observations only. Nothing should be said outside what they have shown in the pictures. I suggest you to re do this whole exercise and post it here again for us to provide our comments for further improvement :)
upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 24, 2014   #6
The diagram shows the process of apple how to be canned.

Generally, there are many steps of apple to be canned. It is start from hand picking process until dispatch process.

i think better if you give more explanation


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: The process of apple how to be canned; 'apple tree'
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳