Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


IELTS; The Internet Vs Newspapers - Which is more powerful?


handsome7boy 6 / 13  
Dec 16, 2013   #1
With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Comparing to other channel of broadcasts, Internet is becoming worldwide broadcaster whilst usage of newspapers is due to be diminished .it is anticipated that newspaper will soon be a thing of the past.

Today's modern world, people use internet as a means of broadcaster as it is so convenient to use. What people desire about broadcasts is to read the breaking News in a short time from wherever it is feasible. Advisories derived from internet are so instant that they can be got in a few minutes. Albeit, the newspapers are exception for this kind of celerity: nowadays, any news written in newspapers isn't being considered to be the latest major news as newspaper organizations print their news which has already been released in the Internet. However some people prefer newspapers rather than Internet.

Despite the fact that we have mentioned above, news logged in the newspapers are thought to be much more authentic than that of those written in the Internet. For instance Internet posters create a rumour and make people believe it in order to make money mindlessly. But newspapers, the thing most old people like to read as their usual activity, does not usually support that kind of uncalled-for articles. Hence, the popularity of newspaper will not be dropped on the account of accuracy of the articles the newspapers have.

Finally, relying on the ideas that I have just written, I can conclude that the popularity of the internet may have an impact on the trade of newspapers, but will never ever make newspapers disappear.

"can anyone assess my essay in terms of academic essay?! if so, what score does this essay deserve? "
last 3 / 6 2  
Dec 17, 2013   #2
Hello, i'm not an expert or something, but i can see that you need to work in making the Intro and the conclusion paragraphs longer :)
FrankZheng 3 / 14 7  
Dec 17, 2013   #3
handsome7boy
Also some other suggestions, because I am also working on IELTS preparation.

1, it is anticipated that newspaper will soon be a thing of the past. May be you are right about the fact that the newspaper will soon disappear. But I don't think other people will fell comfortable when they notice you are anticipated.

2, Today's modern world, people use internet as a means of broadcaster as it is so convenient to use. I don't think the convenience is the only reason that people use internet. Perhaps ,you can refer it as primary reason.

As you might know, a reasonable IELTS essay should be logic and rational so that other people can accept your ideas.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 18, 2013   #4
Comparing to other channel of broadcasts, Internet is becoming worldwide broadcaster whilst usage of newspapers is due to be diminished .it is anticipated that newspaper will soon be a thing of the past.

I suggested you the appropriate structure for the introduction in your other thread and hope you would follow it . It will help you earn marks.

Today's modern world, people use internet as a means of broadcaster as it is so convenient to use.

This simple idea you have presented in a very complicated manner. The most important thing in essay writing is clarity of your ideas. Also they should flow logically. Then only your essay would be powerful in attracting the readers' attention. Avoid redundancy - today and modern world both mean almost the same. Also the part " as a means of broadcaster" is unnecessarily crept into that line.

Today, the Internet is the most popular form of media due to convenient accessibility and speed.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS; The Internet Vs Newspapers - Which is more powerful?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳