please give some corrections and comments what is my weakness in this essay.
Topic: Newspaper and books are outdated. Why do some people believe this? What is your opinion?
In the 21st century, we have witnessed a new form of technology, such as internet and television, they become more popular than traditional media which can be categorized as outdated. It is obvious that books and newspapers become less popular due to people think that it contains yesterday's news. Do you believe that modern media will replace traditional media?
As result of modern lifestyle, fewer people read books for pleasure. They prefer having instant access to the modern technology due to the limited time that they have in everyday life. For example, news can be read easily through internet that it is more updated and sufficient to modern lifestyle. Kindle or tablets have been introduced, as tools for reading so people feel lazy to turn pages of the books. In addition, more people enjoy watching 3D movie or playing a computer games without any effort.
However, books and newspaper will not completely go out of fashion. They are human needs for those who always want to read about news. Moreover, some people try to escape into imaginary world of great novels. There is another sensation when people read through real books and newspapers. I believe those people who do not have internet access in their place, will still need newspaper for getting information.
In my opinion, books and newspapers should change the concept of delivering information that meets 21st century costumer demands. Therefore, they can use modern technology, such as audio books that are created for changing proper books and internet sites that are used as various free newspaper.
1. In addition, more people enjoy watching 3D movie or playing a computer games without any effort. is irrelevant to the topic. i think it should be omitted.
2. in my opinion, it would be better if you add I tend to believe that, i am of the opinion that, i would argue that and etc. to the beginning of your 2nd paragraph. because it is not clear your answering Why do some people believe this? or What is your opinion?
In the 21st century, we have witnessed a new forms of technology, such as the Internetinternet and television
.... you talk about two forms and therefore it should be in plural form / Capitalize Internet
they become more popular than traditional media which can be categorized as outdated.
....can be categorized?
they became more popular methods for accessing information than the traditional methods such as newspapers and books.Here you repeat the same idea. It's better you follow the structure I proposed to you in one of your previous essays.
real books and newspapers i think the word PHYSICAL would be more appropriate here, i mean books and newspapers on the internet are real too. ;)
You open your essay with expressing your opinion. However, it is better that you introduce the topic first and conclude your introduction by expressing your opinion.
don't you think that it could be better to seperate books from news papers, I mean write one paragraph about news papers and another about books. Because, personally when I read your essay it seems to me that books also contain news related information
