contemporary society, individuals are inclined to get obese easily
and their as a result of poor
seem to be declined in recent decades
. In recent decades there has been a trend of declining health.
Probably, there would There may
be several reasons for this phenomenon, though which did not attract enough public attention, to some extent. I'm not sure if you're taking about people not paying attention to the causes of decline in health or the fact that there is a decline in health. Re-write this into a different sentence or connect it to "there may be..."
initiatives should be taken to deal with
these issues the issue of overall decline in health
sophialee111: Referring to the reasons for those questions above, first comes the proliferation of internet
. The bolded part, you do not need there.
Obviously, internet has been playing The internet plays
a significant role in various aspects of life such as e-commerce, online reading, remote education, and most essentially, the basic platform for communication and entertainment among individuals.
which would contribute to obesity and the deterioration of eye problems.
According to a survey conducted by national network supervisory center, approximately 60% of individuals spent at least 4 hours each day sitting in front of computer screen, at the expense of other activities, such as jogging and swimming. As a result of sitting for long periods of time infront of a computer screen people spend less time doing physical activities. Thus, the internet has contributed to the overall decline in health.Work on those transitions. By inserting transitions your thoughts become clearer in your writing.
changing constant change in
lifestyle also contributes to these problems. For example, today
individuals suffer more from plenty of heavy work than decades ago
with that a disorder of life rhythm occurred. you could insert a transition explaining health problems heavy work causes.
Adults and children spare no efforts to win the battle either at work or during study, which would cause a status of imbalance of life and work, For instance, their sleeping
will be effected
, with excessive dreaming or increased times of waken-up at mid-night and could even cause sleeping disorders
Consequently, essential efforts should be taken to address these problems. First and foremost, the increasing amount of exercise, both physically and psychologically, should be taken into consideration for those who always lack adequate exercises. Therefore, they can step far way from obesity and keep fit both
mentally and physically. Secondly, it is preferable to switch on and off work and life reasonably in order to
get a good keep the body
which will definitely This will
benefit one's health; for example, a timetable and a detailed plan can be made to introduce people
their work and study.
In conclusion, the rising problems concerning raising average weight and the decline of health
cannot be ignored
. Only by evaluated initiatives being taken into consideration after a thorough analysis of the reasons, can we address these problems successfully You're not adressing the problem you're evaluating or attempting to solve the problem. Instead of saying adress write solve. Re-write this sentence, try not to be too wordy