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IELTS TASK 1 : The electricity consumption and cost per year


upinipin 32 / 49 1  
Apr 24, 2014   #1
The bar shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household divides.

In a year, electricity consumption increase depending kinds of electronic. The highest electronic cost per year is spa (pump and heater). The lowest electronic cost per year is electric blanket.

Electronic which is low cost $42 per year need 500 kwh per year. There are only 5 electronics where in this part. Home computer, aquarium, dishwasher electric cooking, freezer, water bed heater, clothes dryer and washing machine are includes electronic with high cost about $83 per year. They are need about 1000 kwh per year. The higher electronic costs are refrigerator and pool pump. They are need not less 1500 kwh per year and cost $125 per year.

To sum up, usage normally of electronic cost per year is under $83 per year with 1000 kwh per year. The luxury of electronic cost per year is up $166 per year with 2000 kwh per year.



niesaysi 16 / 290 85  
Apr 24, 2014   #2
cost per year of various household divides.

What does the bold part really mean?

In a year, electricity consumption (singular) increases depending on the kinds of electronic.

There are only 5 electronicswhere in this part.

The bold part is grammatically incorrect.Simply delete "where" to make it correct.

They are need about 1000 kwh per year.

You do not need to use the be verb " are" in that sentence.

They are need not less than 1500 kwh per year and cost $125 per year.

The same issue as the first one.

Good luck :)
classified9988 2 / 12 7  
Apr 24, 2014   #3
These bars shows the relative electricity consumption and annual cost per year of various household dividesdevices .

In a year, electricity consumption increaseis dependentingon the typeskinds of electronic devices .

consider the use of "annual" instead of "per year"

Electronic which is low cost $42 per year need 500 kwh per year. There are only 5 electronics where in this part.

Statement does not make grammatical sense...

According to the graph, the devices that do not incur significant annual electricity fees are considered to consume 500 kWh and have running fees below $42; there are 5 home appliances that can be categorized in this section;

Good luck!
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 24, 2014   #4
The bar shows the relative electricity consumption and cost per year of various household divides.devices.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 24, 2014   #5
Follow the approach suggested by Pahan for this task :)

Electronic devices which isof which the cost is less thanlow cost $42 per year need less than 500 kwh per year. There are only 5 electronics wheredevices in this partcategory. Home computer, aquarium, dishwasher electric cooking, freezer, water bed heater, clothes dryer and washing machine are includes electronic with highincur higher cost aboutover $83 per year. They are need about 1000 kwh per year.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 29, 2014   #6
It seems overview because you tell about the main trend, so you need one part as a body paragraph to explain the detail information and this part can be conclusion.
Eva Novita Sari 47 / 71 2  
Apr 29, 2014   #7
There are only 5 electronics where in this part. Home computer, aquarium, dishwasher electric cooking, freezer, water bed heater, clothes dryer and washing machine are includesing electronic with high cost about $83 per year.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 29, 2014   #8
There are only 5 electronics where in this part.

here, you should put two verbs or delete 'where'


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