Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8


'special talents' parent and family background vs teachers influence on children


jack zhao 1 / 2  
Apr 1, 2014   #1
Parent and family background have more influence than teacher of a young person's learning and academic achievement. Discuss.

Nowadays, many people believe that parenting make a greater contribution to the youngsters' academic achievements than schooling. In my opinion, although young people benefit from parenting to some extent, schooling is still an indispensable part of academic education for children.

Considering professional training of teacher, there is no doubt that schooling is enormously beneficial to youth's acadamic performance. As professional teachers, it is obvious that they have adequate teaching techniques which can help young people to fulfil their academic potential, and youth's wisdom can be enriched effectively by teachers who use a systematic apporach. Moreover, studying at school, the various subjects can offer an option to youngsters rather than restricted by their parents' knowledge. For instance, some youths may have special talents in a particular field in which their parents do not have any relevant knowledge. Therefore, teacher will play a significant role in childhood teaching due to the variety of subjects in school.

However, it is ture that teenagers are also influenced by their parents in many ways. Firstly, due to the responsibilities of parenthood, it is natural that parents are meticulous to take care of their children, concerning themselve with not only children's academic performance but also physical and mental development. Therefore, youngsters are influenced by their parents' guidance. Secondly, youngsters usually spend more time staying with their parents in both social and leisure activities, imitating their parents' good habit and values which could be positive for their growth and development.

To sum up, in terms of learning and academic achievements, it seems that teachers have more impacts than parents and family background on young people, however, parents also have a significant role to play in childhood education.
BINGBINGLIANG 5 / 9 1  
Apr 1, 2014   #2
there is no doubt that schooling is enormously beneficial to youth's acadamic performance.
I think it is better to change into youths'
Youngsters can make so many firends in their campus life,it also has a great influence on their development. so
I advice to add some words talking about this issue.
OP jack zhao 1 / 2  
Apr 1, 2014   #3
Thanks for your help, I can understand what you mean, but I think it is inproper to use that view you mentioned above, because the cause of influence has been restricted to two parts(parents and teachers) in the topic. If I use that point, am I going to beside the point?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 1, 2014   #4
your question is not very clear. However, I guess you are asking whether it is improper to mention your opinion on the argument in the introduction. Isn't it so? My answer is that it is not improper at all and it is always better to conclude your introduction with a sentence that clearly tells the reader what sort of view you hold. However, you can take whatever side of the argument or take a moderate stance. Depending on the opinion you hold, you need to justify that opinion in the body paras with reasons and examples. By any chance if you take a moderate stance, then have one body para for one side and the other for the other side of the argument.
OP jack zhao 1 / 2  
Apr 1, 2014   #5
thanks for your answer, it rellay helps me a lot.
fikri 5 / 317 71  
Apr 1, 2014   #6
To sum up, in terms of learning and academic achievements, it seems that teachers have more impacts than parents and family background on young people, however, parents also have a significant role to play in childhood education.

you wrote this sentence too long, it would be better and more understandable if you separate it into two sentences, so that, the readers will be easier to understand and get your points
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 6, 2014   #7
Thanks for your help, I can understand what you mean, but I think it is inproper to use that view you mentioned above, because the cause of influence has been restricted to two parts(parents and teachers) in the topic. If I use that point, am I going to beside the point?

I think Pahan has given some good explanation for this question. Sorry for not being able to answer you earlier. However, as Pahan explains it is always good to conclude the intro with your opinion so that the reader gets the idea what you think about the issue. If it is a "Discuss both views" type topic, still you can state your opinion and discuss both views in the body paras. By stating your opinion in the intro, you are aligning the reader's thoughts with your desired direction.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 7, 2014   #8
As professional teachers, it is obvious thatEvidently, they, professional teachers, have adequate teaching techniques which can help young people to fulfil their academic potential,(stop here)andUsing this systematic approach, youth's wisdom can be enriched effectively by teachers who use a systematic apporach.

However, it is ture thatAdmittedly, teenagers are also influenced by their parents in many ways.
Admittedly and Evidently are attitude adverbs expressing the writer's attitude toward the state or action described in the sentence

Firstly

Secondly

When you write firstly, secondly, lastly to mention supporting points, I am afraid that you are overusing the linking devices. I think the better way is to avoid using lots of the connective words. If you think that you need to earn coherence and cohesion, pay particular attention to demonstrate cohesion.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'special talents' parent and family background vs teachers influence on children
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳