IELTS: Some people enjoy change, new experiences. Changing our habits is making us better

Hi friends...
Could you read my essay and give me some feedback, please...
Thank's before, friends...

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approach do you prefer? Explain why.

Human live is different between somebody and others. Many people have desirability for they them selves. Some people like to live and stay at the same place, and their usual habits. But, others enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. I prefer with the statement; others enjoy change because many benefit such as to get new experience and new knowledge.

From the other side, changes in one lives giving new experience. We will find good condition. It's great when boring becomes. I always try to make changes, for example. However, when my feel not good I cannot focus to do anything in my life. Thereby, changes our habits is important to make people better. Moreover, people get new knowledge when change they live. When I am bored as an, I am going to new place to get good idea. Except like that, I did not something. It is make my time always wasted away.

Additionally, each of people needs changes. This is make u stronger, more self confidence, and more patient. I believe that people who like changes will be giving the best for our live.

In conclusion, I think people must change to catch every opportunity to learn more knowledge and experience. So, people will be feeling better in their live.

Write more. 214 words.
I find many problems: grammar, vocabulary, sentence, idea.
Suggestion: Read as many IELTS writings as you can to improve your writing skills. This help you find some ideas and improve your vocabulary and grammar.

From the other side, changes in one lives giving new experience(bad grammar) . We will find good condition. It's great when boring becomes. I always try to make changes, for example. However, when my feel not good I cannot focus to do anything in my life(more specific) . Thereby, changes our habits is important to make people better(How important is it?) . Moreover, people get new knowledge(like what) when change they live. When I am bored as an, I am going to new place to get good idea. Except like that, I did not something. It is make my time always wasted away.


Write 'you'. This is IELTS, not Diary writing.

This is too short dear :( You need to have at least two paras that justify your position and convince the reader with supporting examples. Follow the approach suggested by Pahan above.

this is the introduction that I've got from my teacher here,I've used it for along time and the result shows better than the shorter one. so that, I suggest you to follow this pattern, hope it will work with you

case/issue = use what,who,where,when,why, and how to help you construct the issue
your position/opinion = agree/disagree, advantage/disadvantage, your opinion, your idea, etc
thesis statement =this essay would examine . . ..
this essay would discuss . . . .

i think you should write

But, others enjoy to change and they look forward to new experiences

hallo brother Ira.

I only comment about S + V. you can see on above, you should write it makes

Thanks.