Most of the world's armies are full of men because men are physically stronger and more capable of doing the physically demanding work that being a soldier requires.
I think this sentence should be used as an example in a body paragraph all about work for which men are better suited.
Then, give a body paragraph all about work for which women are better suited.
When you take the above-quoted sentence out of the intro paragraph, you will have room in the intro paragraph to add 1 or 2 special sentences that express the main idea of the whole essay. It is good to use the end of the first paragraph to give sentences that express the main idea of the essay.
No matter which gender they are and what jobs that they are taken and, one shall treat them equally and respect their choice of professions because they all have tremendous contribution to our society as noble citizens.
I really like this ending!! Very eloquent.
Thanks, Eric, for the contribution you made here!