Hi everyone, i am preparing the IELTS test. Please give me some advises of the below Task 2 essay. Thank you all in advance.
Topic:In some countries, traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. This has a negative effect on both families and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the progress of globalisation, it seems like every country around the world experiences an invasion by worldwide fast food chain companies. It is a fact that the adverse effects impact not only individuals, but also societies at large.
Admittedly, most fast food restaurants provide affordable meals, which render them increasingly popular in some undeveloped regions. Also, fast food lovers extend that purchasing such food is virtually saving their time, as time has become a precious aspect in modern society.
Despite the argument above, the pervasive fast food industry weakens cultural identity to some extent. It is indeed undeniable that traditional cuisine is the major part of a culture. As more and more people get addicted to fast foods, traditional dishes and cooking skills start to fade from kitchens. In China, an increasing number of young adults prefer to have chips and pizza instead of steaming meat buns by bamboo baskets at home.
On top of that, it has been proven that fast foods will pose a threat to health. Generally, fast food meals contain high sugar, salt and fat. Constantly eating such foods virtually increases the risk of having some chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity or even cancers. In some western countries, obesity has recently become one of the most detrimental diseases among youngsters. As a result, there has been a rising burden that governments have to allocate more funds into medicine research in order to address the problems.
To recapitulate, although the boost of fast food industry is an inevitable tendency in modern society, its numerous drawbacks are overwhelming. Taking this into consideration, individuals should reverse this new food pattern instantly for the sake of the younger generations.
Very nice..your vocubalary range is impressive and your way of expressing your thoughts are of an advanced level.
I do have some tips to further improve the structure of your essay. Since your task mentioned about traditional cuisine,
negative effects on individual and society, why don't you structure it this way:
1st main body paragraph talks about the effects of fast food to society by way of replacing one's traditional cuisine
2nd main body paragraph talks about fastfood destroying an individual's health
hope this helps...
