Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Should students be allowed to have cell phones in secondary and high schools?


Huong nisha 3 / 1  
Mar 13, 2013   #1
In the today's modern life, cell phones undoubtedly regarded as one of the most common means of communication that have given a great impact to the mankind 's life in first hand. Young generation nowadays have used cell phones like an indispensible commodity that goes along with them in any pace of life , even at schools or in classrooms. Although cell phones bring everyone many benefits and conveniences , students using cell phones in secondary and high school is unacceptable for some following reasons.

The initial important reason of not allowing students using cell phones at school is to avoid the cheating situation in exam . If cell phone use is allowed during class , it will be difficult for teachers to control and catch students who are texting each other or coping the answers of others during the tests and final exams through cell phones accessed to Internet. Furthermore , cell phone use in class can make students be lazy in brainstorming and making use of creativity in the case they deal with difficult problems . As a result , cell phone use in class should be banned and early prevented at school effectively.

The second noticable reason is that cell phone use can make students fall in the state of distraction in studyin. Obviously , cell phone use during class impact detrimentally on student's process of attention and level of contributation , many teenagers suffer from pemanent partial attention disorder, which is a habit of paying only partial attention to their schoolwork, while devoting half of their attention, typically , to social networking sites or instant massaging. Being attractive by conveniences that cell phones bringing , students are much less likely to take good notes sufficiently and are much less to fully learn the lessions.

The final vital reason is cell phones easily to be student 's weapon to kill themselves at school . School environment is a safe and healthy place ,however , students are in the changing period of both mentality and physicality, sometimes due to small problems they easily take action without thinking carefully ,such as fighting, gathering into small gangs , bullying each other. Students often use cell phones to call the assistance of outside when they are getting into fights, then lead to the serious effects later. School administrators are difficult to control the order of school if this problem happens. Therefore , not allowing to use cell phones at school are going to avoid the order of school in danger.

In conclusion , everything always have two sites of it , not excepting cell phones a sort of useful tool, importantly , we should know take use of its advantages effectively . Cell phone use bring us so many benefits but lead to a large number of problems, therefore, from the above -mentioned reasons ,personally I consider that cell phone use in secondary and high school should be banned to prevent unpredictable effects later.
temptprovidence 8 / 163 35  
Mar 13, 2013   #2
students using cell phones in secondary and high school is unacceptable for some following reasons.

students using cell phones at secondary and high school level is unacceptable for some following reasons.

Being attractive by conveniences that cell phones bringing

attracted..

not allowing to use cell phones at school are going to avoid the order of school in danger.

at school is going to...

students are in the changing period of both mentality and physicality

a process of maturation in mental and physical faculties is a characteristic of school life ... thats better.

In the today's modern life,

in todays life that is immensely influenced by modernity ... thats better

you were able to defend your point well but for all the errors.. i would suggest the same.. microsoft wordpad..just copy paste it there and it will point out all sorts of errors. grammatical in green. others in red underline.hope it can help out even more...!!! BEST OF LUCK :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 14, 2013   #3
Young generation nowadays have useduse cell phones like an indispensable commodity that goes along with them in any pace of life , even at schools or in classrooms.

... keep this in present tense. Also the part I highlighted sounds a bit confusing as to what you mean :(

students using cell phones in secondary and high school is unacceptable for some following reasons.

The initial important reason of not allowing students using cell phones at school is to avoid thepossible cheating situation inat the exams .

Obviously , cell phone useusing cell phone during class impact detrimentally on student's process of attention and level of contributation , many teenagers suffer from pemanent partial attention disorder, which is a habit of paying only partial attention to their schoolwork, while devoting half of their attention, typically , to social networking sites or instant massaging.

... this line is too long and the reader has to make a great effort to remember its details. With less work for the reader, he would find your essay more interesting. :D ... Try and avoid very lengthy sentences.

Also, when you make new posts, post these essays under "Writing Feedback" forum.
Overall a good essay as always ;)
Alizia 2 / 2  
Mar 15, 2013   #4
unacceptable for some following reasons

Be specific! What are they?

Furthermore , cell phone use in class can make students be lazy in brainstorming and making use of creativity in the case they deal with difficult problems .

What is the connection between this sentence and your topic sentence? Cheating?

studyin

studying

contributation , many teenagers

Comma splice. What's your concluding sentence of this paragraph?

,however ,

;however,.... again! comma splice.


two sites

It should be two sides.

You have to be careful of your use of punctuation. It could be good that you use lengthy sentences but it turns out to be confusion for readers.

Try to be specific and do some research to make your statement stronger.


Home / Writing Feedback / Should students be allowed to have cell phones in secondary and high schools?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳