greetings
i will be so pleased if you help me about my research paper.
i have written an outline,which is really bad since i didn't pay attention.
here it is;
Introduction:
-Selfishness and politics,
-Politics is the way of management of a country, so politics affects people in thousands of way. To have a political power some people or parties use selfish ways some of them use altruistic way. This paper is going to be written to explain which way is better for sake of county and which way is more successful.
-There is a disagreement about this issue because, there are many examples in history that selfish politicians found many supporters in some cases; however, sometimes altruistic way to manage country gives more democratic atmosphere and this is what people want.
-(Thesis) Although it is thought to be selfish for some extraordinary cases such as war or economical crises, altruistic political view usually creates more democratic, equal country and happier citizens.
Body
I. For the sake of country political power may be used selfishly even this causes undemocratic regime.
1. a. Since politics was created for a country's welfare, selfish policies which give advantage to a country may be applied in some cases. (Mein Kampf/Hitler)
b. Although Jews were citizens of Germany as Germans, Hitler was supported by all Germans to clean the country from Jews due to the fact that Jews were trouble for Germany.
c. The holocaust was done, many innocent people suffered, Germans were seen as fascist and racist people and many people have hated Hitler until now, Germans suffered because they did not have an army for a period of time.
d. Since democracy was accepted as a management regime of nearly all of the countries, any undemocratic and unequal application can be accepted. Misuse of politics for a person's or a group's welfare is against human rights.
II. Misuse of political power for a group's own good causes hatred against this group, creates inequality and trouble in society.(Menderes Döneminde.../Ümit Özdağ)
1. a. If political power in a country which is taken by elections is used in a selfish way, this divides society into at least two groups and these groups querrel really in a bad way and this raises disturbance.
b. Democrat party misused its political power and applied pressure even on universities, managed badly the places where Republicians had took more votes then Democrats and created inequality.
c. Adnan Menderes was executed because of wrong policy and some different reasons. Many people's rights were not cared. There was a coup, which sent Turkey to years ago. Military regime is not a normal regime because policy is not soldier's business, however, the laws give the permision to army related to the conditions of this country. It is also a proof that this coup was needed and selfish policy brought Turkey in a wrong way.
2.a. Misuse of political power in world politics in a selfish way also causes hatred against the powerful country. If there is advantage of a country on another country and if this advantage creates disadvantage for weak country this means colonialism which is legally forbidden. If the reason of a military action is not seen in just war doctrines, this is an illegal action and also against human rights. (Just War Doctrine and the Invasion of Iraq by remark. Christopher M)
b. USA military action on Iraq has been discussing for years. Although it is seen a legal action by some parts of society, the fact is so obvious that there is a selfish behavior of USA on Iraq.
c. Iraqi people suffered a lot, they started to live in fear because the balance of country collapsed because of American action. Many people earned a lot of money on this war in some sectors such as; construction of buildings, petroleum exportation. However these people who earn money was with America, therefore this selfish action made some people rich some people poor. This is also inequality and this is against human rights.
Conclusion
-Misuse of political power creates many bad effects on a big part of society and selfish political actions unbalance the country or world politics.
-Although it is needed to behave selfishly in some extraordinary cases, the human rights and welfare of society must be cared.
-To care a part of society or to apply pressure on a part of society creates inequality and this is against democratic view.
-The aim of world wide political action must be well discussed and any action to damage a poor country for a strong country's welfare can not be done.
- As it is said, the affluence and stability of society is so important for a country's political power. The first thing the government should do is to keep this balance and try to make all people happy. If any government acts in an altruistic way, democracy is applied in the best way.
- As we all see the bad results of selfish governments, and there are many good examples of altruistic governments; therefore it is better to manage the country in altruistic way.
as you see main arguments of my paper are "misuse of political power based on selfishness" and "negative effects on society".
instructor wanted me to rewrite my thesis again.
also my instrutor realized that there is a repeatation before conclusion. indeed i would try to give the same message from turkey and other countries but she said that i should bring them together and make 1 stronger argument. she suggested me find another topic as pro argument..do you have any idea?
thanks for your help
Good afternoon!
In order for me to help you the best I can, I need a little bit of clarification. First, do you want this outline edited, or do you want help rewriting the thesis and tying the outline up better?
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
greetings;
i need to rewrite the thesis,so if you help me about it i will be very pleased. also i need some advices about content. if u have any comment about content, please tell me
thanks
OK, no problem!
As far as a thesis, how about something like, "Selfishness and its affects in relation to political power and negative effects on society"?
As far as content goes, it looks like you have a great start; the only thing I could suggest is perhaps finding a few more good sources to cite as your examples. You have a couple already, but the more you have the stronger your argument appears to those reading it. Your organization looks great, and you do have many supporting details. This is all very positive. Nice work!
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
Politics is exciting because people disagree. They disagree about how they should live. Who should get what, how should power and other resources be distributed? Should society be based on cooperation or conflict? Politics is the activity that tries to generate different alternatives to find proper solutions for these disagreements. According to andrew heywood "politics, in its broadest sence, is the activity through which people make, preserve and amend the general rules under which they live." Rather than being an academic subject, more importantly, politics is a social activity; since it affects the whole life of the people. Politics can be implemented through holding political power and political power is executed by different authorities, therefore they make the crucial decisions that affects people's lives. The attitudes of these different political authorities play significant role in social welfare and selfishness has been one of the most contradictory attitudes of political actors in terms of governing the states. In terms of politics, selfish or altruistic administrations faced with many success and failures. Therefore, it would not be fully correct to state that there is no a certain attitude to rule a country, but in general selfishness in state administration provides less success and no peace within a society. Although there are some extraordinary events occurred throughout the political history in which selfish administration brought glory to some countries such as; during the era of WW II in Nazi's Germany; this glory could not go beyond the lines of being a military success. Therefore; to have a political success and stability for a society the administrators should have an altruistic attitude in ruling the state, rather than holding a monopolistic power in their own hands. The aim of the political figures must be rule the state without violating rights of its citizens, they must guarantee individual rights and to implement each and every aspects of democracy in state administration. It is not possible to apply democracy under a selfish rule, because a selfish rule causes a fragmentation within the society, it leads to violation of human rights and social polarization, the distortion of the balance of the society and creates very serious social, economic and political conflicts. In other words, the only way to maintain political stability and social and economic welfare is to have an altruistic attitude in administration rather than a selfishness rule.
here is the introduction part o my research paper..could you please give feedback? thanks a lot
Good evening!
This is a very good rough draft. Let's trim it down a little bit though, because it's too long for an introduction. Remember, for an introduction you are just giving a teaser to the reader about what you are going to tell them; you don't want to give them too many details yet. Also, you don't want to fly right off and use quotes; it's too much too soon.
I suggest the following:
"The purpose of politics is to try and generate different alternatives and solutions for society's disagreements. Political policies can be implemented through holding political power; political power is executed by different authorities, making them the crucial decision makers effecting citizen's lives. The attitudes of these different political authorities play significant roles in social welfare, and selfishness has been one of the most contradictory (I'm not sure if this is the best word choice here; perhaps "hypocritical" or "charlatan" would be more effective.) attitudes of politicians. In terms of political policies, selfish or altruistic administrations are faced with many success and failures. Therefore, it would not be fully correct to state that there is not one certain attitude which guarantees a politician success in ruling a country, but in general selfishness in state administration provides less success and no peace within a society."
This states your thesis statement and gives the reader a broad idea of what you are going to tell them about this topic. It also frees up all that extra information to be put somewhere more effective in your essay.
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
here is my first body paragraph, which is a counter argument. could you please help me about grammer mistakes and could you please tell me your comments about this paragraph.thanks a lot
Division of people into groups and behaving these groups differently can be done for the sake of the country. Since the authorities aim to get the most beneficial conditions for their own countries through politics, in some conditions, the power holders use their power selfishly in order to create better situations. For example; Germany was awfully affected by Great Economic Depression, which started in 1929, and the economics of Germany could not be recovered until WW II. Many Germans suffered from famine. Even the money that people own, lost its value very rapidly because of inflation. On the other hand, Jews were so rich and they were controlling all trades in Germany. Hitler, who is the dictator of Germany, got the support of many poor Germans in elections and created a fragmented German society according to the nationalities of the citizens. The society was formed by Germans and Jews. This is the most obvious example of racist division. In order to gain a public support, Hitler regarded the Jews as an inferior society in his speeches; he asserts that; " since the Jew never had a civilization on his own, he has always been furnished by others with a basis for his intellectual work. ... if the Jews were only people in the world they would be wallowing in field and mire and would exploit one another and try to exterminate one another in a bitter struggle, except in so far as their utter lack of the ideal of sacrifice, which shows itself in their cowardly spirit, would prevent this struggle from developing."(p.272-273).Besides his humiliation of Jews, Hitler emphasized Germans' superiority in his speeches and tried to provide a massive nationalist support from German society. "The most precious possession on earth is our own people." Although this division has been seen nationalist or patriotic, indeed this application turned into a wild, undemocratic regime which is absolutely against human rights. Hitler labelled the Jewish people as parasite and trouble-makers, and he put emphasis on his desire of a German state, which includes no Jews anymore. However, since democracy has been considered and started to be implemented as the best administration model in almost all developed states, any undemocratic and unequal applications cannot be accepted in democratic states. Even, Hitler took the most basic right of humanity, the living right, out off the hands of Jewish people, as a result, German state was cleaned from Jews, but many innocent people were killed just because of their nationalities and many of them suffered due to the Holocaust. Hitler's desire came true, but it brought some side effects with it and still German people try to get rid off these negative yields of this old struggle with the Jews. Germans were regarded as a fascist society and as racist people as a result of some mistaken generalizations and many people have hated Hitler until now. Moreover, Germans suffered too from this struggle, because of selfish decisions and actions of Hitler. Hitler's passion caused the decline of Germany in WW II. Many Germans died. Germany spent much money during the war years, but they did not obtain what they aimed. Germany encountered with embargo and Germany was not allowed to create army for many years. The clearest example of a selfish policy shows us that selfish applications are not durable and have more disadvantages than advantages, and the poor situation of German state should be considered as one of the best illustrations for the influence of selfish decisions of the authorities in state administration.
and this is my second body paragraph which is indeed the refutation of my counter argument. it is not finished yet. i will add some qoutations and conclude this paragraph with good sentences. do you have any suggestion about the concluding sentence(s) of this paragraph. also i will be very pleased if you correct the grammer. thank you
You have a very strong conclusion to this paragraph. Good job. In this first paragraph, are you playing the devil's advocate and advocating Hitler's actions? If so, you need to be more assertive; he did many good things for the German people: the autobahn, for example. He led the country and they followed him because they were so desperate for leadership that at the time they would have followed anyone. Why were they so desperate for leadership? What was Hitler's real vision for Germany (what did he mean to accomplish by ridding Germany of Jews?) You begin this first part by explaining that this division can be done for the good of the country, so it looks like from the beginning you are going to show the good in this situation, but as you go on in the essay you turn sides and illustrate the bad. It's just a little confusing for the reader as we travel through the essay.
Also, what citation style are you using?
OK, here goes the second part:
"On the contrary to the negative outcomes of selfish policies of the power holders, altruistic policies provide better conditions for a country. The more the authorities worked in cooperation and in an altruistic manner, the more the state takes less risk and obtained more positive outcomes. There are many examples that prove us how altruistic policies affect the state positively. Independence War of Turkish nationThe Turkish War of Independence is one of the most obvious examples of self sacrifice and altruistic behaviour. In contrary to the divisionistpolicypolicies of Hitler, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk created a unity in public. Turkish society also worked for its country;the Turkish people thinkthought of their country before their own lives. Even though enemies wanted to arrest Ataturk and execute him, Ataturk was ready to sacrifice his own life. He had never thought to save his lifeHow do you know this? Cite your information . Not only in war years, but also in the first years of Turkey, he thought about Turkish society. He had never used his power for himself or for a group's benefitAren't the Turkish people a group? Didn't he think for their welfare? . As a result, the public trusted him and become a unityunited . Army was in war in Germany; however, public was in war in independence war of TurkeyIn Germany's case, the army was at war; during the Turkish war for independence, the Turkish public was at war . It is impossible to provide that kind of unity by selfish policies. Ataturk did not divide people related to their nationalities as Hitler did; Turkish people or Kurdish people or Circassians fightfought together. EitherBoth Turkey orand Germany had foreign enemies; both countries had to fight against different countries. However, Germany had to handle withattacked its own citizens, who are Jews; on the other hand Turkey provided the unity against an exterior enemy with all its citizens; f ewer enemies mean easier war. It is hard to think how Turkey would have fought if there had been also a civil war. Ataturk's altruistic policy brought better conditionsRemove because it is redundant . I f the situations of Germany and Turkey are compared, it is obvious that Hitler's dictatorship management style with selfish behaviours was not permanent, but Turkish politics still holds."
The conclusion is good; it wraps the paragraph up nicely. In essence, you have spent the paragraph comparing the two and this statement sums it all up.
Post the rest when you are ready, and we can continue. Good work.
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
hello
thanks for help, i corrected first paragraph and i will go on with second paragraph. i have just realized that i made many basic language mistakes. you know..english is not my mother tongue. they may happen. the first paragraph, which is about Hitler, is my counter agrument i have to say what counter arguments say (selfish applications may be done for sake of country, in this case) and than i have to refute it. i think i did the right thing. i said what counter argument says and than i showed that in fact it is wrong. we use MLA citation style
i am writing 3rd body paragraph and i will finish with a conclusion paragraph. i think 3 long body paragraphs are enough because instructor wanted 2000-2500 words
thanks again
Good evening!
You are welcome. For examples of MLA in text and work cited pages, do an internet keyword search for "MLA citation examples". Following a model will make sure that you don't get counted off for improper citation.
Good luck!
