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TOEFL: Scientists' contribution vs. artists' contributions


enikolova 1 / 1  
Apr 16, 2014   #1
Hardly is there any doubt that nowadays life is easier and favorable thanks to scientists and artists. Some people believe that artists' contributions are the most important for our life. While others, like me, claim that scientists make more important contributions than artists. In order to support my idea there are a few aspects that are worth mentioning.

On the one hand, there are people who believe that artists make the beautiful and relaxing things in our life. As a matter of fact, they write books and make movies which help us getting over our problems and make our life less difficult. For example, there is nothing better than reading a book or watching a movie after a long tiring day. However, if there were no scientists, there would be no paper or technology where people can interpret their ideas. Thus I believe that artists' contribution depends on scientists' inventions.

On the other hand, there are people who claim that now life is easier, improved and technological advanced because of scientist. Irrespective of the fact that artists make life more enjoyable, scientist help us to survive, in case they have found a cure for almost each disease. Furthermore, nowadays we use a lot of technology which makes our everyday life easier and more comfortable, like the computer which is one of the most useful invention of the scientists. For instance, at the present time almost every house have a computer from which people can talk with friends, searching information from the internet, playing games and so on. Not only make scientists our essential needs more available with the technology, but also they make the technology cheaper, in that way almost everyone can afford it.

In short, both the artists and the scientists have a huge contribution to our life, but scientists make the base of all the things which make our life comfortable. I believe that without them now we wouldn't have so many advances in our life, even I wouldn't write this essay at the moment.
yparekh 1 / 3 1  
Apr 16, 2014   #2
I believe both artists and scientists have high contribution. If we think, art is everywhere and in every thing-- from a dirtiest trashcan in world to finest car in world. Everyone has different perspective and interest, which decides what they consider as art. For example, Steve Jobs may think of his inventions as art, and Vincent van Gogh may think of his painting as invention.

This is just my opinion.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Apr 16, 2014   #3
On the one hand, there aresome peoplewhobelieve thatartists make the beautiful and relaxing things (what are you trying to say here???)in our life

You'd better always try to include the prompt. To give relevant and reliable feedback, we need the prompt which helps us crystallize the ideas from your writing.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Apr 17, 2014   #4
... Well, I find your first sentence is quite complicated. You could have said that idea in a simpler manner and that would have been more interesting.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 17, 2014   #5
On the one hand, there are people who believe that artists make the beautiful and relaxing things in our life.

Align your writing more with the topic;
On the one hand, we should not forget the contribution that artists make to enhance the quality of our society as well as our lives by their beautiful and meaningful creations.

On the one hand, there are people who believe that artists make the beautiful and relaxing things in our life..

In this para, you need to tell the reader how important the role that artists play in society to have your writing more aligned with the prompt.


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