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We can't claim that scandals are useful just because of the ability of getting attention (GRE)


Tian 1 / 1  
Jul 17, 2013   #1
Scandals are useful because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Scandal is a behavior or an event that people think is morally wrong or legally wrong and causes the public feeling of shock or anger. Are scandals useful because they direct our attention on problems that speaker or reformer cannot do it? I partially agree with the statement above. It is true that scandals can focus people's attention on issues but they still cannot be claimed as useful just because they can draw people's attention. Scandals are morally wrongdoing and bring shameful to individuals and society. For instance, videos of political sex scandal in the internet. These videos attract many viewers but we do not categorize the videos as useful videos Therefore, we could not categorize scandals as useful. Besides, the statement says that reformer and speaker are unable to draw peoples' attention on certain political, social and academic problems as that of scandals. This claim is wrong. Speaker and reformer do bring an impact to the authority in focusing the problems.

Undeniably, people pay attention to scandals such as political, sex, academic and sporting scandals. This is human nature of curiosity. Human are inquisitive about what the others are discussing and tend to reveal the secret behind a scandal. Usually, scandal involves many people and some of them are important people in society. Social media plays an important role in bolstering human's attention to scandals. Just a click on social networking service, millions of people get to know about scandals. Then, commenting on the scandal has become a trend for those social networking users. For example, drug addiction of athletes. Scandals have successfully drawn millions of attention but does it considered as useful? We cannot claim scandals as useful just because they are able to focus citizens' attention. Scandals will influence the reputation of an individual or a society. Although opponents may argue that people can learn from the mistakes. However, do we really need scandals to tell us that those are misbehaving? No, we do not. People know all these practices are immoral, therefore they are called as scandals. Furthermore, if appropriate actions are not taken to solve scandals, then focusing on the problems alone will not give any help in the problems.

Besides that, we cannot neglect the hard works done by speakers and reformers in increasing public awareness of political and social issues. The speakers and reformers voice out dissatisfaction of people towards certain issues such as corruption and racial harassment. Speakers and reformers organize talks, workshops and campaign inculcate citizens about the implications of misbehavior in order to prevent people to repeat those misbehaving.

In conclusion, scandals undoubtedly can focus people attention on problems but we could not claim that scandals are useful just because of the ability of getting attention. Maybe the statement above sounds more convincing if it changes to scandals have an important impact on society because they focus peoples' attention. Moreover, we cannot admonish the hard works of speakers and reformers, they have their own powerful impacts in getting everyone's attention.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jul 17, 2013   #2
Scandal is a behavior or an event that people think is morally wrong or legally wrong and causes the public feeling of shock or anger.

Scandal is a behavior or an event that people perceive as morally or legally wrong and it causes shock and anger among the public.

I partially agree with the statement above.

... you repeat the statement in your previous line.

It is true that scandals can focus people's attention on issues but they still cannot be claimed as useful just because they can draw people's attention.

.... you need to take this line to the next para.

Please note that you should post GRE essays into Writing Feedback forum.
OP Tian 1 / 1  
Jul 20, 2013   #3
Thank you for the comment. If score 1-6, what scored will you give for the essay?
jkjeremy - / 380 72  
Jul 20, 2013   #4
This is a three. The biggest problem is that you repeat yourself WAY too often.

If you write 500 words but the same word appears 20 times, you've really written 481 words.
robert589 2 / 3  
Jul 21, 2013   #5
you should say morally or legally wrong instead of repeating the "Wrong" word twice


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