Prompt 4: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?
Our lives are just like the plain canvas to a painter. The pattern of this drawing and the reputation of the masterpiece are determined by the drawer's choice of colors from the palatte. This procedure exactly represents how our lives are determined by the decisions we make. Though sometimes the external factors will somehow make lives out of control, for the most part, it is our won will that actually makes our won style of living.
Shakespeare's Hamlet, one of the most recognized play in literature, elaborately illustrated this point of view. Hamlet, a honest and loyal prince in England, was once charming and attractive, and was greatly admired by Olivia, a comely and naïve girl. However, after finding that his uncle has killed his father to seize the power, he is teem with indignation and ideas of revenge. He turns into an insane and incredulously hatred person and crazily complements the plan of murdering his uncle. Though at the end, he achieves his goal of killing uncle, he has paid a lot for the scheme. He threw himself in the quagmire of confusion and despair, becoming a total stranger that nobody recognizes. Even his beloved Olivia is forced to death. Hamlet's decision, tough fulfilling his aim of revenge, eventually ruins his won life and injures people who love and care about him. His mother, however, represents another side of decision-making. Though the sorrow of losing her husband is overwhelming, she does not immerse herself in the swamp of despair. Rather than living in the shadow of the companion's being murdered, she quickly accepts a new marriage and maintains the power of a queen. Her decision, though does not seem as noble as Hamlet's, does brings her statue and happiness.
My mom's experience also supports this point. When she was still in a college, she chose to study science and medicine merely because she admired the money and fame that an occupation as a doctor could get, even though she did not find any pleasure learning medicine. So, she did not gain any satisfaction when she works in a hospital. But having been through the torture of being a doctor over 20 years, she decided to quite her job and become a write, which has long been her ideal vocation. Now she sits in front of a computer everyday with ecstasy and enjoys the good time of typing her inspiration into words.
Our lives are made up of all sorts of choices. And the literature and our won lives illustrated that, if making a better choice, we will live with a more positive attitude and create a more satisfying course of life.
Opening your essay with a metaphor is a great idea. In fact, it is such a great idea that I hesitate to say anything critical about it, for fear of discouraging you. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that the metaphor you have chosen works that well. If our lives are a blank canvas, then who or what paints on them? You can say that we do, but then that creates the impression that we are somehow separate from our lives, which seems odd. Perhaps you could elaborate on the metaphor, extend it so that it covers more ground. If you do this, think about what the equivalent of genetic predispositions, socioeconomic variables, and unchosen environmental factors would be -- the colors available on the palette? the material of the canvas?
"it is our own will that actually shapes our own style of living."
Your first example is fictional. That is, you are referring to people who never actually existed. As a result, it is probably a bad idea to use them to try to demonstrate a point about the way real people act. Could you think of a real life example to draw on, here.
Your second example is not entirely convincing. Your mother made a decision to become a doctor, but what influenced her decision? A desire for money and fame? Then why not head to Hollywood? Somewhere she got the idea that being a doctor was what she was supposed to do, maybe from her parents? So, external influences presumably shaped her decision. Otherwise, why would she stick with being a doctor for 20 years if she really viewed it as "torture?" You might be able to make this example work, but you will need to go into more detail to do so.
...money and fame that an occupation as a doctor could provide , even though...
The opening metaphor is great, for sure, and I actually don't find any problem with the fictional example from Shakespeare; an example of Shakespeare's thought process is just as valuable as an example from a real-life thought process. Consistent with the metaphor about life being a canvas for creative work, it is all a play anyway!
I think I agree more with Sean's initial impressed-ness, and less with the obligatory criticism. We are here to give our thoughts about your work, so we have to say what we can, but above all this is a great, great essay.
And the literature and our won lives illustrated that, when making a better choice, we will ...
Thanks ^ ^
