I am offering you some suggestions and corrections with respect to your essay. I have no idea how your writing was prior to your writing this essay, so I really cannot comment on that; however, I can say that you are doing well here -- you just need to tighten up with respect to some areas of your writing abilities. Make use of the semicolon in the correct ways. Re-write the essay and re-post it on the forum.
Writing has not always been my favorite subject; however, I feel my writing has improved during this month. Having worked on three different patterns of essay organization such as Chronological Order-Process, Cause/Effect and Comparison/Contrast
Essay;Essay,they all helped me to categorize all ideas I want to write about and gave me many tools to use when writing essays. Moreover, I have written three formal essays in the patterns mentioned beforeaforementioned patterns, and that assistance allowed me to notice where I was making mistakes and that turned out to be really helpful for my learning of writing.
My first essay was a 'how to' composition, where I wrote about steps we can follow to overcome a fear. I think I
did it goodwrote it well, but I should recognize it was not my best ,best. thisThis wasis because I had littlea few other problems on my schedule at work and at the University too, so I did not how to handle withthe Icpna course,course; however I could have figured it out and I wrotewritten this first essay in a very short time. That did not let me go so far with the topic I chose, therefore, I just tried to be consistent. When I got asome classmate feedback about that essay I realized I was having some difficulties on setting up my ideas because my classmates let me know things I had not noticed, likesuch as making the paragraph more specific.
On the second essay I wrote in class I had to choose among three topics given by the teacher in order to make a cause/effect essay. These were "The effects of Divorce", "Causes and Effects of Poverty" and "The effects of standing up your Boyfriend",
from wherefrom which I chose the first one. Since I had looked for information on the internet a day before I was more prepared for this time. Truly, this aided me to come up with ideas easily while I was writing the essay, but, as it was a controversial topic probably I did not focused enough on it that I only got 2 points score form three.
The final essay I was given was to write a Comparison/Contrast composition. I decided to write about a topic which was close to any experience I had, hence, I wrote about "Living at home and living away from home". I merely wrote about things what happened to me focusing them on my point of view of course but, I think that, as it was reflected on a personal experience I got so far with the topic and this took longer that I though. The bell
runrang and I was just finishing with my draft. However, I gave it to my teacher later. Even so, I thought I had done it great but, when he gave it back to me and I saw my score I accepted that I seriously have to work harder to improve my writing.
In fact, there is still a long way in the writing academic I need to walk and I know that practicing is the only way, however I should recognize that my writings essay I have done in class helped me to realize that I am not good at writing as I though, and knowing that is very important for me because there are things on myself that I would never know if somebody does not tell me.