Unanswered [3] / Featured [2] / URGENT [0]   

    help     or  

Essay Forum / Writing Feedback /      

Questioning Authority: Agree or Disagree (GRE Issue Essay)



deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 7, 2012, 08:30am   #1
The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority. Write a response, in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your positions.

"Question Authority," the ubiquitous bumper sticker in late seventies suggested to question every existing authority which could be parents, employers or as big as the government. This aberration is still relevant and practicable today, despite the wide agreement that authority; refers to the government institutions in this essay; have an obvious intent of fostering society's well-being, residents' continued watchdog mentality contributes to enhance conditions of their social surroundings. In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.

First, government authorities are bigger in scale and often complex in composition compared to individual or community. Besides their own intricacy, they have to focus for larger areas. This might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small problems of any particular area, which could be "huge" for the residents but nominal for authority compared to big problems in other areas. They might divert the resources into considerably higher important area. Such indifference on small problems might transform it into chronic and incurable.
As it is known, "Prevention is better than cure," people should question authorities before a small ameliorable problem turn into unceasing or needs more money to contain. For example, Japanese government said that, Fukushima nuclear disaster caused by the devastating tsunami was because of Japanese peoples' reluctance in questioning authority.

Second, while authorities are often elected through the majority of votes, the susceptibility of favoring their supporters' neighborhoods or their voting blocks and paying little or no attention to the rival or opponents areas cannot be negated. Such partialities attribute to unequal dissemination of services, physical infrastructure, or natural resources. Local residents' delegation or media coverage helps to avoid such circumstances. We learn some issues only after questioning authority.Informations sometime designated as "classified" by authorities come out after harrying government . This helps to keep government honest and stop unethical practice, if not at least lessens.

Opponents of this idea argue that questioning the authority might jeopardize sensitive issues like religious harmony, foster rebellion and create chaos and unrest. Such sentiments are undeniable but great social changes have always come only after questioning the authority. Whether it is Dr Martin Luther King; Mahatma Gandhi; or Libyan people, their collective questioning conduced to the great social change.

Thus, to conclude, "it is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority," as suggested by Benjamin Franklin but keeping it peaceful, modest and inoffensive because "too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought," as stated by John F Kennedy, must be our utmost attention.


Thanks for reading and appricaite any suggestion !



ah_zafariThreads: 13
Posts: 808
Author: Ahmad Zafari
[Contributor] Likes 97  
Jul 7, 2012, 09:03am   #2
At the end of the introduction you should clearly mention your opinion; Agree or disagree. Then state the reasons why you agree or disagree with the statement. This part of the introduction is called Blueprint which shows what issues are going to be argued in the essay and , in fact, it is an outline of the body.

they have to focus for on larger areas

deepakbaniya:
First, government authorities are bigger in scale and often complex in composition compared to individual or community. Besides their own intricacy, they have to focus for larger areas. This might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small problems of any particular area, which could be "huge" for the residents but nominal for authority compared to big problems in other areas. They might divert the resources into considerably higher important area. Such indifference on small problems might transform it into chronic and incurable.

What is the relationship between this paragraph and the topic?

deepakbaniya:
As it is known, "Prevention is better than cure," people should question authorities before a small ameliorable problem turn into unceasing or needs more money to contain. For example, Japanese government said that, Fukushima nuclear disaster caused by the devastating tsunami was because of Japanese peoples' reluctance in questioning authority.

Add a summary at the end of each paragraph.

Such partialities are attributed to unequal dissemination of services

Regards
Ahmad


joshuanderitu01Threads: 2
Posts: 60
Author: joshua nderitu
   
Jul 7, 2012, 09:24am   #3
deepakbaniya
this might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small ]problems of any particular area,which could be "huge"for the residence

i think if you use this word huge without the hiphenation sign it would sound well in your essay because the meaning is the same,
but i am not saying its wrong its alright as long as it means something to the reader,as well you can give a few examples where you say
small problems of any particular area, which could be "huge" for the residents .I still say your essay is correct and well written


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 7, 2012, 10:23am   #4
ah_zafari:
At the end of the introduction you should clearly mention your opinion; Agree or disagree. Then state the reasons why you agree or disagree with the statement. This part of the introduction is called Blueprint which shows what issues are going to be argued in the essay and , in fact, it is an outline of the body.

Doesn't the first paragraph say I am Agreeing? what do you think?

(This aberration is still relevant and practicable today, ... In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.

I do not think I have to write the word "I agree..." to agree with the statement.


ah_zafariThreads: 13
Posts: 808
Author: Ahmad Zafari
[Contributor] Likes 97  
Jul 7, 2012, 10:26am   #5
deepakbaniya:
This aberration is still relevant and practicable today, ... In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.

It would be better to write "in my opinion", "From my perspective" and the like, to show this is your opinion. I did not get that this is your idea. U should write your opinion clearly

In addition, you should mention the reasons of the position that u have taken.


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 7, 2012, 10:40am   #6
ah_zafari:
It would be better to write "in my opinion", "From my perspective" and the like, to show this is your opinion. I did not get that this is your idea. U should write your opinion clearlyIn addition, you should mention the reasons of the position that u have taken.

1. This aberration is still relevant and practicable today.
2. In my opinion ( I agree), This aberration is still relevant and practicable today.
You mean second sentence is right here.


ah_zafariThreads: 13
Posts: 808
Author: Ahmad Zafari
[Contributor] Likes 97  
Jul 7, 2012, 10:43am   #7
deepakbaniya:
You mean second sentence is right here.

Yes, this is better than the first one. In this way a reader can easily get your opinion and he/she does not need to analyze the sentences to understand your idea.


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 7, 2012, 01:36pm   #8
Thanx Ahmad and joshuanderitu01 for valuable suggestions.
Joshua, I agree with you . The word "huge" without ".. " looks better.


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 10, 2012, 08:27am   #9
after little editing,

The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority. Write a response, in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your positions.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------

"Question Authority," the ubiquitous bumper sticker in late seventies suggested to question every existing authority which could be parents, employers or as big as the government. In my opinion, this aberration is still relevant and practicable today, despite the wide agreement that authority; refers to the government institutions in this essay; have an obvious intent of fostering society's well-being, residents' continued watchdog mentality contributes to enhance conditions of their social surroundings. In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.

First, government authorities are bigger in scale and often complex in composition compared to individual or community. Besides their own intricacy, they have to focus on larger areas. This might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small problems of any particular area, which could be huge for the residents but nominal for authority compared to big problems in other areas. They might divert the resources into considerably higher important area. Such indifference on small problems might transform it into chronic and incurable.
As it is known, "Prevention is better than cure," people should question authorities before a small ameliorable problem turn into unceasing or needs more money to contain. For example, Japanese government said that, Fukushima nuclear disaster caused by the devastating tsunami was because of Japanese peoples' reluctance in questioning authority.

Second, while authorities are often elected through the majority of votes, the susceptibility of favoring their supporters' neighborhoods or their voting blocks and paying little or no attention to the rival or opponents areas cannot be negated. Such partialities attribute to unequal dissemination of services, physical infrastructure, or natural resources. Local residents' delegation or media coverage helps to avoid such circumstances. We learn some issues only after questioning authority.Informations sometime designated as "classified" by authorities come out after harrying government . This helps to keep government honest and stop unethical practice, if not at least lessens.

Opponents of this idea argue that questioning the authority might jeopardize sensitive issues like religious harmony, foster rebellion and create chaos and unrest. Such sentiments are undeniable but great social changes have always come only after questioning the authority. Whether it is Dr Martin Luther King; Mahatma Gandhi; or Libyan people, their collective questioning conduced to the great social change.

Thus, to conclude, "it is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority," as suggested by Benjamin Franklin but keeping it peaceful, modest and inoffensive because "too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought," as stated by John F Kennedy, must be our utmost attention.


Thanks for reading and appricaite any suggestion !


ah_zafariThreads: 13
Posts: 808
Author: Ahmad Zafari
[Contributor] Likes 97  
Jul 10, 2012, 10:57pm   #10
despite the wide agreement that authority; refers to the government institutions in this essay; have has (this refers to "authority") an obvious intent of on fostering society's well-being

deepakbaniya:
"Question Authority," the ubiquitous bumper sticker in late seventies suggested to question every existing authority which could be parents, employers or as big as the government. In my opinion, this aberration is still relevant and practicable today, despite the wide agreement that authority; refers to the government institutions in this essay; have an obvious intent of fostering society's well-being, residents' continued watchdog mentality contributes to enhance conditions of their social surroundings. In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.

Your introduction is great, but there is a problem in the organization of it. You started the introduction with a good motivator/general background. After that, u should rewrite the topic (thesis statement) and then give your opinion. In fact, the main idea of the topic is that "Can the questioning authority improve a society in various facets?". U wrote this point at the end of the introduction. In my opinion it would be better to write the different parts of the introduction in the order that I wrote below:
1) Motivator; 2) Thesis statement(What is the main idea of the essay); 3) your opinion; 4) Blueprint

deepakbaniya:
Opponents of this idea argue that questioning the authority might jeopardize sensitive issues like religious harmony, foster rebellion and create chaos and unrest

How will the questioning authority jeopardize such issues that u stated above? U did not support this statement.

deepakbaniya:
Whether it is Dr Martin Luther King; Mahatma Gandhi; or Libyan people, their collective questioning conduced to the great social change.


U tried to support your words by a quotation from Gandhi, but it is not clear. What type of change do you mean? Make it apparent.

Good job

Hope the comments be useful
Ahmad


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 11, 2012, 09:50am   #11
ah_zafari:
Hope the comments be useful Ahmad

Thank you Ahmad for the suggestion!
You have valid points. I will work on your points.


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 18, 2012, 07:00pm   #12
"Question Authority," the ubiquitous bumper sticker in late seventies suggested to question every
existing authority which could be parents, employers or as big as the government. In my opinion,
this aberration is still relevant and practicable today, despite the wide agreement that authority;
refers to the government institutions in this essay; have an obvious intent on fostering society's
well-being, residents' continued watchdog mentality contributes to enhance conditions of their
social surroundings. In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting
or helping to amend unfruitful agendas are conducive to ideal society.


First, government authorities are bigger in scale and often complex in composition compared to
individual or community. Besides their own intricacy,they have to focus on larger areas. This
might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small problems of any particular area, which could
be huge for the residents but nominal for authority compared to big problems in other areas.
They might divert the resources into considerably higher important area. Such indifference on
small problems might transform it into chronic and incurable. As it is known, "Prevention is better
than cure," people should question authorities before a small ameliorable problem turn into
unceasing or needs more money to contain. For example, Japanese government officials agreed
that, Fukushima nuclear disaster caused by the devastating tsunami was because of Japanese
peoples' reluctance in questioning authority.


Second, while authorities are often elected through the majority of votes, the susceptibility of
favoring their supporters' neighborhoods or their voting blocks and paying little or no attention
to the rival or opponents areas cannot be negated. Such partialities attribute to unequal
dissemination of services, physical infrastructure, or natural resources. Local residents'
delegation or media coverage helps to avoid such circumstances. We learn some issues only
after questioning authority.Informations sometime designated as "classified" by authorities
come out after harrying government . This helps to keep government honest and stop unethical
practice, if not at least lessens.


Opponents of this idea argue that questioning the authority might jeopardize sensitive issues like
religious harmony, foster sedition and create chaos and unrest.Such sentiments are undeniable
but great social changes have always come only after questioning the authority. Whether it is
Dr Martin Luther King; Mahatma Gandhi; or Libyan people, their collective questioning conduced
to the great social change. Dr. king helped to get the African American and cauccassian same right,
Gandhi brought independence in India through nonviolent resistance,and Libyan people
ousted the tyrannical Gaddaffi government.


Thus, to conclude, "it is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority," as suggested
by Benjamin Franklin but keeping it peaceful, modest and inoffensive because "too often we... enjoy
the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought," as stated by John F Kennedy, must be
our utmost attention.


deepakbaniyaThreads: 5
Posts: 159
Author: D. Baniya
 Likes 2  
Jul 23, 2012, 10:22am   #13
Jul 25, 2012, 12:57pm - Attached on merging:
'keeping it peaceful, modest and inoffensive' - Questioning Authority: Good or Bad?

The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority. Write a response,
in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the
position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might
or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your positions.


"Question Authority," the ubiquitous bumper sticker in late seventies suggested to question every existing authority which
could be parents, employers or as big as the government. In my opinion, this aberration is still relevant and practicable
today, despite the wide agreement that authority; refers to the government institutions in this essay; have an obvious
intent on fostering society's well-being, residents' continued watchdog mentality contributes to enhance conditions of their
social surroundings. In other words, peoples supporting good ideas of authorities and rejecting or helping to amend unfruitful
agendas are conducive to ideal society.


First, government authorities are bigger in scale and often complex in composition compared to individual or community.
Besides their own intricacy,they have to focus on larger areas. This might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small
problems of any particular area, which could be huge for the residents but nominal for authority compared to big problems
in other areas. They might divert the resources into considerably higher important area. Such indifference on small problems
might transform it into chronic and incurable. As it is known, "Prevention is better than cure," people should question authorities
before a small ameliorable problem turn into unceasing or needs more money to contain. For example, Japanese government
officials agreed that, Fukushima nuclear disaster caused by the devastating tsunami was because of Japanese peoples'
reluctance in questioning authority.


Second, while authorities are often elected through the majority of votes, the susceptibility of favoring their supporters' neighborhoods
or their voting blocks and paying little or no attention to the rival or opponents areas cannot be negated. Such partialities attribute to
unequal dissemination of services, physical infrastructure, or natural resources. Local residents' delegation or media coverage helps
to avoid such circumstances. We learn some issues only after questioning authority.Informations sometime designated as "classified"
by authorities come out after harrying government . This helps to keep government honest and stop unethical practice, if not at
least lessens.


Opponents of this idea argue that questioning the authority might jeopardize sensitive issues like religious harmony, foster sedition and
create chaos and unrest.Such sentiments are undeniable but great social changes have always come only after questioning the authority.
Whether it is Dr Martin Luther King; Mahatma Gandhi; or Libyan people, their collective questioning conduced to the great social change.
Dr. king helped to get the African American and cauccassian same right,Gandhi brought independence in India through nonviolent
resistance,and Libyan people ousted the tyrannical Gaddaffi government.


Thus, to conclude, "it is the first responsibility of every citizen to question authority," as suggested by Benjamin Franklin but keeping it
peaceful, modest and inoffensive because "too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought," as stated by
John F Kennedy, must be our utmost attention.

(I appriciate Joshua and Ah_Zafari for their kind inputs in my previous essay)


supercoolThreads: 1
Posts: 5
Author: devarakonda anjali
   
Jul 24, 2012, 02:35pm   #14
wow great essay!!!!
can you give me some suggestions on writing..
I have many ideas but I am poor at expressing them and
it gets harder with time limit
Thanks!!




Essay Forum / Writing Feedback / Unanswered [this forum] / Featured / Similar

Similar discussions:


Random: IELTS: Water Cycle from the ocean to air and to the Earth surface


This thread has been closed.

Home - Search - About Us - Faq - EF Contributors - Contact Us

Copyright © 2006-2014 EssayForum.com  Disclaimer, Privacy Policy, TOS  EssayForum RSS