But life is too complicated to be conducted by proverbs, and often burdening other people with your troubles could not only be meaningless, but harmful.
Wow, very good. I am intrigued...
Sharing our problems may bring us emotional relief, but in the long run it hinders our durability.---Okay, is this the main idea of the essay? What do you conclude... that we should not share our grief? I feel that another sentence is necessary at the end of this first paragraph. Add a sentence to share even more of your insight.
Wow, alright. I like every paragraph. To complete this, consider what you would say to someone who complains, "Do not tell people to keep their pain bottled up! Friends are supposed to share both pain and pleasure." When someone reads your essay, they will be thinking something like this. You will need to be able to explain why it actually is better to keep quiet about the pain. :-) Give one last insight! Answer this question that will be raised in the reader's mind.