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prevention is better than cure --> ielts topic



taher abdallahThreads: 1
Posts: 4
Author: taher
  [Suspended]  
Sep 14, 2012, 09:43am   #1
Now days , many countries have a very desire to apply the statement , prevention is better than cure , through define a budget diverting from treatment for presenting the importance of prevention on human health . I am in favour of , a large percentage of budget should go to health education and preventative measures .

So , i believe that learning prevention will lead to many useful things in our life , we will have a health body free of diseases . It is notable that taking care of our health will avoid us from many harmful things that will have a very bad effect on our health .

Prevention is a very meaningful word contains many indications through it we will have a happy life , also avoid us of spend much money on drugs , so it will benefit in terms of economic . As a result , we have to have to learn how we can apply this concept in our daily life , Each member in the society have a vital role to spread this statement , each family must raise their children on basics hygiene . Governments in each country have an important role towards their people , they have to define an amount of budget spends on health education . Universities and schools should held a session to aware students . Media must held a publicity on the benefits of preventions .

At the end , I agree that we have to divert a percentage of budget from the treatment on health education and preventative measures , as this will lead to many benefits on societies and out a generation with strong health so acquiring a high economic .



please evaluate my topics and feed back me

best regards



meili luoThreads: 4
Posts: 13
Author: meili luo
   
Sep 15, 2012, 02:17am   #2
taher abdallah:
Nowa days , many countries have a veryintense desire to apply the statement

taher abdallah:
to apply the statement(Space here is incorrect) , prevention is better than cure(No Space needed) , through define a budget diverting from treatment for presenting the importance of prevention on human health . I am in favour of , a large percentage of budget should go to health education and preventative measures .


taher abdallahThreads: 1
Posts: 4
Author: taher
  [Suspended]  
Sep 15, 2012, 02:50am   #3
thanks meili for ur feedbacl


April AprilThreads: 13
Posts: 199
Author: Thao T. Hoang
[Contributor] Likes 22  
Sep 16, 2012, 02:40am   #4
I am in favour of, a large percentage of budget should go to health education and preventative measures --- I am in favour of THE OPINION THAT a large percentage of budget should go to health education and preventative measures . (You must say 'i am in favour of something', not 'in favour of + clause')

So , i believe that --- don't start a sentence with SO. It's informal. You can use connectives like FIRST, FIRSTLY, FIRST OF ALL,...
taking care of our health will avoid us from many harmful things --- taking care of our health will PREVENT us from many harmful things (You AVOID sth, not sth avoids you from sth else)
many harmful things that will have a very bad effect on our health --- this is too general. Write an example to clarify yourself.

Best


oanhmiss2Threads: 1
Posts: 3
Author: oanh miss
  [Suspended]  
Sep 16, 2012, 03:53am   #5
i think the your essay are very good...




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