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'political stability': Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth



adhikaribabitaThreads: 1
Posts: 1
Author: Babita Adhikari
   
Oct 13, 2013, 07:01am   #1
IELTS essay topic: Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

I totally agree with the statement that it is the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves. Every country should be strong enough to provide adequate facilities to the people. For this, country should use their resources more efficiently. Government must provide food and education to the people of their nation.

Wealthy nation doesn't provide food and education all the time for poorer nation. Country shouldn't dependent on other countries incentives. Country should be self dependence and competitive with other country. For this they should produce their own crops and foods. Free education should be provided to the children. Government should try to develop their nation by themselves. However scarce resources should be searched and utilized effectively.
For example Nepal can invest on hydro-power project and can generate revenue by selling electricity to the foreign countries. Government should actively participate in this kind of activities. Similarly green forest are the wealth of the nation. so government can utilizes the resources and and can establish schools and colleges. Government should develop tourism industry so that many people can get employment opportunities so that they can generate food themselves and can provide education to their children.

In Nepalese context government should invest on agricultural sector because Nepal is a agricultural country. If government provide quality seeds and fertilizers productivity of the land can be increased which helps to increases food production in our own nation. However economic development is the main concern of the government. If the nation is economically well developed all the problem of food and education will automatically solved. Government should take initiative on the economic development of the country. There must be political stability on the nation. Government should focus on more export than import to maintain balance of payment.



dumiThreads: 1
Posts: 7,241
Author: Duminda
[Moderator] Likes 1400  
Oct 13, 2013, 11:28am   #2
adhikaribabita:
I totally agree with the statement that it is the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves. Every country should be strong enough to provide adequate facilities to the people. For this, country should use their resources more efficiently. Government must provide food and education to the people of their nation.
............. It's better to conclude your introduction with stating your position on the argument. Otherwise your writing would look like a direct answer, but not an essay.
Follow this structure for your intorductionl
Have these three parts in your introduction;
1. Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention
2. Background - Give the context to the reader
2.1. Definition of the question
2.2. Importance of the question (why it is important to discuss this argument)
3. Thesis statement - Express your view


PahanThreads: 1
Posts: 1,937
Author: Pahan Thillakaratne
[Contributor] Likes 471  
Oct 13, 2013, 11:34am   #3
adhikaribabita:
Wealthy nation doesn't provide food and education to all the time for poorer nation.

Your body paragraphs should justify your position that you stated in the introduction. So, it is better if you start this body paragraph with the reason, instead of re-instating your position.
Why you say so? What is the reason for you to think like that........ you need to discuss them and support your reasons with specific examples.
adhikaribabita:
For example Nepal can invest on hydro-power project and can generate revenue by selling electricity to the foreign countries. Government should actively participate in this kind of activities. Similarly green forest are the wealth of the nation. so government can utilizes the resources and and can establish schools and colleges. Government should develop tourism industry so that many people can get employment opportunities so that they can generate food themselves and can provide education to their children.

Reasons and examples should be in one paragraph. Limit one body paragraph for one reason and to its supporting example.


ravenetThreads: 5
Posts: 31
Author: Raveen Rasaiya
 Likes 2  
Oct 16, 2013, 10:55pm   #4
Hi

I have read your essay it is good, but there are a few mistakes and it could be greatly improved .

1. You should focus on the general statements rather than particular.
2. More passive forms could help you to increase your band.
3. Always focus on your spellings.

thank you




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