Please, can you guys review my essay? It's an Example essay about the importance of exercise for the body and mind!
Thanks!
Certain individuals consider that exercising is just for looks, but exercise is good for the general health and the mind of people. Healthy people look good because they feel energetic and in great physical condition. By exercising people keep away many health problems. Also they will have more time with families and the activities they like to do since they are feeling great. It is not a just a matter of having a super body, but having a good condition.
One way it helps, it fights health issues and illnesses. No matter what is your current weight, being active increases the "good" cholesterol and decreases unhealthy triglycerides. For example, an exercise routine keeps your blood flowing smoothly, which decreases a risk of cardiovascular diseases. Therefore, a regular physical activity can help prevent or manage many health problems, such as strokes, metabolic disorder, arthritis, diabetes, some catastrophic illness and depression.
Another way it helps is in the mental aspect, such as the emotional benefits associated with an active lifestyle are among others: a balance mind, you will be able to have a more agile state of mind. Also you'll be able to rest better. And you all know how much you need a good night sleep, because once the day has started the right way everything seems to fall into place. Even relations seem to work more effectively due to your positive attitude by feeling better after exercising on a regular basis.
In conclusion, exercise has many physical and emotional benefits which are recommended to take advantage. No matter what type of exercise you do, you have to be cautious and consult a doctor before beginning an exercise routine. Everything is related, a good body and a sound mind just from participating in and having a regular exercise.
Hii mariProvi
I think sometimes you go off the topic and there are some grammatical mistakes also however your ideas are great.
Thanks for your feedback on my Essay! Working on it! But I still going to need a more detail review in this work (my deadline is on Friday), Did I used the transitions words correctly? And I'm not comfortable with the concluding paragraph! However, I did use the outline model given by the Prof. This is like a basic Essay class, but still I want to learn as much as I can.
Some individuals think that people exercise just to look good, but exercise is beneficial for the general health and mind of people. Healthy people look good because they feel energetic and are in great physical condition. Also they will have more time with families and the activities they like to do since they are feeling great. It is not a just a matter of having a super body, but having a good condition.These sentences don't work for me. Not quite understanding the "more family time because of good shape" thing, and I'm not entirely sure that that's a valid point. The second sentence is also odd maybe: Being healthy is more than just having a super body, it also reflects the mental and spiritual wellness of a person.
Exercise helps by combatting illnesses and health issues. Being active increases the "good" cholesterol and decreases unhealthy triglycerides. An exercise routine keeps your blood flowing smoothly, which decreases the risk of cardiovascular disease. Therefore, a regular physical activity can help prevent or manage many health problems, including strokes, metabolic disorder, arthritis, diabetes, some catastrophic illness and depression.
Exercise also helps people keep mentally healthy. The emotional benefits associated with an active lifestyle include a balance mind, need something else here Exercise is also proven to help people sleep better. Everyone can attest to the benefits of a good night's rest; my day always seems to go well when I have had adequate sleep. Even one's interactions with other people seem to approve due to the agreeable feelings one often feels with the confidence of regular exercise.
Exercise has many physical and emotional benefits which all people should take advantage of.
I removed much of your sentences because they just don't fit right, and have made corrections to much of the essay. The truth is you are missing a lot of content in this essay; there isn't much substance and that's what you need to add. I deleted almost all of your conclusion; it doesn't work. You need to sum up what you've said throughout your essay.
Thanks for the review! You all have been so kind! I had made the changes, but I still kind of lost on that last paragraph. Can I have help in that last one? How should I end it?
Hi
What's the purpose of this essay? IELTS/ TOEFL/ GRE ? Include the purpose in your topic (in the subject field) so that it helps us to provide you with more relevant feedbacks. Also, you need to post this type of essays into Writing Feedback forum.
Certain individuals consider that exercising is just for looks, but exercise is good for the general health and the mind of people.
... but exercises help people to stay in good health both physical and psychological.Certain individuals consider that exercising is just for looks, but exercise is good for the general health and the mind of people. Healthy people look good because they feel energetic and in great physical condition. By exercising people keep away many health problems.
....All three sentences mean almost the same. Avoid repeating ideas
