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"parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies" - Toefl



lisetteThreads: 2
Posts: 11
Author: lisette Yuan
   
Jun 26, 2011, 02:10am   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

Watching television program and movies has always been a way of wasting time. Many children are addicted to it and spend hours watching it everyday, which makes their grades go down quickly. I truly agree that if a child wants to do well in school, parents should limit on the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

Watching too many TV programs and movies can be bad for our health, especially to our eyes. Without good eyes and a healthy body, we can't get good grades. I was a coach potato myself when I was in the fourth grade. The final exam in the third grade made me feel stressful and I planned to enjoy my summer in TV programs and movies. So I watched twenty movies and countless TV programs in a month. Soon, I discovered that I can no longer see the screen clearly and went to a hospital to cheek my eyes. After being told that I was short-sighted, I felt very regret and stopped watching TV, but all these efforts could not prevent me from wearing glasses.

Also, most TV programs and movies are easy and lack of knowledge, like "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf", a TV series , which is so poplar in China that there is hardly a person, among the total of 1.3 billion population, has never heard of. However, the series can not provide us with any practical uses. In every show, the main plot is a goat called pleasant and his friends beat and trick the Big Big wolf who wants to eat the goats. I really admire "Tiger Mother" Amy Chua, she is a typical eastern mother, who is very strict to children. She never allows her daughter to watch TV programs and movies, which she calls them "garbage". Her children grow to be two very diligent and well-sighted ladies, who get a lot of prizes in music contests.

Last but not the least, the world is becoming more and more competitive. The fast growing population and technology make it harder to get good jobs. In 2009, the economic crisis caused many firms to declare bankruptcy and many young men to lose their jobs. They have to rely on governments and their parents. If parents want their children to rely on themselves, it is urgent for them to limit their children's hours of watching TV and movies and force their children to read books and review all the lessons.

Although watching TV and movies properly can help us to relax our mind and a certain type of science and history programs can be benefit for us, children are too young to control themselves from watching to much. I suggest parents limit the hours of watching TV and movies of their children.


Thanks for your reading my essay.



ajit88raiThreads: 23
Posts: 274
Author: ARness (Ajit Rai)
 Likes 3  
Jun 26, 2011, 02:38am   #2
I was a coach (couch) potato myself when I was in the fourth grade.

-> If parents want their children to rely on themselves, it is urgent for them to limit their children's hours of watching TV and movies and force their children to read books and review all the lessons. ----- DO u really think parents should force their kids to study?? well it would be surely dictatorial parenting if they do so.

-> Although watching TV and movies properly can help us to relax our mind and a certain type of science and history programs can be benefit for us, children are too young to control themselves from watching to much. I suggest parents limit the hours of watching TV and movies of their children. -----in your whole essay u have been against kids watching tooo much tv, n now this line at the end will hinder your motive.

tips for u-
-> firstly u need to read the five-para structural approach for writing argumentative essays.
-> secondly, do keep an eye on ur spellings, there r quite a few spelling mistakes-which i think were just random errors but these will effect your score if u neglect them. the easy words should never be written incorrectly.
-> bifurcate this essay into four parts n write the advantages n disadvantages of each opinion..first think and then write.

i hope it helps u....

good luck


lisetteThreads: 2
Posts: 11
Author: lisette Yuan
   
Jun 26, 2011, 02:47am   #3
Thank you very much for your comments:D


123nntThreads: 4
Posts: 16
Author: Ngo Nhat Tai
   
Jun 26, 2011, 08:11am   #4
lisette:
Last but not the least, the world is becoming more and more competitive. The fast growing population and technology make it harder to get good jobs. In 2009, the economic crisis caused many firms to declare bankruptcy and many young men to lose their jobs. They have to rely on governments and their parents. If parents want their children to rely on themselves, it is urgent for them to limit their children's hours of watching TV and movies and force their children to read books and review all the lessons.

I think this paragraph doesn't support your opinion effectively. There is no clear connection between the first idea in the paragraph and the last sentence.


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Jun 27, 2011, 05:12pm   #5
This is a great thread! I'll give my ideas, too...

Plural: programs
Watching television programs and...


Use "for"
Watching too many TV programs and movies can be bad for our health, especially to for our eyes.

She never allows her daughter to watch TV programs and movies, which she calls them "garbage." ---When you use WHICH, you don't need THEM.

This sentence is okay, but it is awkward:
I suggest parents limit the hours of watching TV and movies of their children.
You can do this:
I suggest parents limit the hours their children spend watching TV and movies. of their children.

:-)


lisetteThreads: 2
Posts: 11
Author: lisette Yuan
   
Jun 28, 2011, 02:54am   #6
Haha thank you for ur suggestions




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