Parents should give money to their children for their high marks at school.

Hi,all.
I'm haley, and I'm new here.
Please give your opinions on my essay. Thanks very much.

Parents should give money to their children for their high marks at school.

All parents hope their children to have outstanding academic performance at schools, so they try different ways to encourage children to work hard. Some parents come up with the idea of giving children money for achieving high grades. It may sound feasible; however, after a closer look, I find this method problematic and even deleterious to children's longer term development.

First, giving children money as prize for high marks is very misleading. It is because that motivation for studying should come from the inner aspiration for knowledge rather than material desires. While I concede that many people go to school so that they can earn more money in the future, I do believe that there are more reasons for people to learn, like self-perfection and self-actualization. Thus, when children are repeatedly getting money from their parents for acing some examinations, gradually, they may get used to the feeling that studying is just for making more money. This is definitely not healthy to their growth, as well as the future of any nation.

Second, such awarding method will also affect children's character and behaviors adversely. Commonly, children like to have some pocket money, since they can use them to buy things they want. If they find out it is a good way to obtain extra money by getting high marks, it is possible that some will do whatever they can-even in some despicable ways-to bring home highly-graded papers. For instance, negative phenomenon like cheating and plagiarism can be frequently seen on campus. Therefore, giving children money for high scores will only encourage such behaviors.

Actually, there are many other ways for parents to award their children for their excellent academic performance. For example, instead of giving children money directly, parents can buy things their children want for them, like new iPods or books. Or parents can take their children to amusement park or a movie. In these ways, parents can award their children for good performance at school while avoiding some unhealthy influences.

In conclusion, I seriously doubt the effectiveness and rightness of giving children money for high grades at school. Not only children's attitude towards study will be compromised, it will also bring about counterproductive results on their behaviors.

Well, I'm no teacher but it sounds pretty good. You had very strong examples and your reasoning was to the point. I have two step-kids and two kids of my own and I agree with you. As far as i can tell keep up the good work.

So im assuming this is an argumentative essay, your examples are strong, but maybe the second last paragraph (your resolution). Start it off without the "Actually" I'm no expert but I think it would sound a little more formal.

eg: There are many other ways for parents to award their children for their excellent academic performance....

Addition of Idea: Also by going to movies, playing spots, the relationship of the father and son can be strengthened.

--------

It looks all good. KIU!

And welcome to the forum. I hope you also contribute back.

Pretty good, Haley! You must be one of the Masters of Language... a natural writer.


You know, you write so well and make a strong argument, but I still disagree a little. If the students is given an iPod instead, doesn't that cause the same "extrinsic" motivation you are describing? If you want students to have intrinsic motivation, you need to get them inspired. I think money can inspire kids, and I think it might be good sometimes to let them earn a little paycheck by being high achievers. :-)

To make this essay stronger, google this: how to refute the counter-argument