school educators not only contribute much on children's professional skills, but they can teach their students important social communication techniques in order to survive in this competitive world.
Faulty parallelism
Possible suggestion: school educators
not only contribute...,
but also teachMy arguments will be discussed as follows.
this phrase adds no value for the intro. Better omit
A closer look at the task:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For me, if you are offered such task, then you are asked to take a position, which is neither in total agreement nor total disagreement, but somewhere in between. Then, you should 'why' into paragraphs
5 or 4 paragraphs?
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. This can help you write more words, but some students, that I see, put grandiose ideas, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 40 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D
To justify what I am saying, have a look this paragraph:
In the first place, teaching staff are professional in terms of promoting children's professional skills and have more time to stay with them. For instance, in many countries, children are required to stay at school for five days out of a week, in which teachers can impart theoretical knowledge and practical skills to students to help them improve their intelligence. As a result, skills and knowledge such as computer operation will help children to prepare for their future career.
this paragraph is off-topic,
Parents are the best teachers
With the structure of a 4-paragraph essay, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly, one content paragraph for, and one againts. This is good for coherence and cohesion between the sentence-to-paragraph-to-essay construction, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.
Hope this helps :D