Your introduction needs to be improved. Before presenting your own opinion ( I do not agree...), state first your main topic or thesis statement.
I am too with niesaysi. I too feel you should introduce your topic to the reader first. And conclude your introduction stating your opinion to have a better flow.
For instance, in Nepal, students are not compelled to study the same national curriculum until college.
Again, don't start body paras with examples. First tell the reason that you use to justify your position on the argument. Then have this kind of specific example to support your reason. That is a more effective way of convincing the reader.