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IELTS; Nowadays the way many people intearact with each other has changed


digestion 1 / 1  
Feb 22, 2014   #1
Nowadays the way many people intearact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development

Hello everybody, i am new member of this site.I am sure that experienced people will help me. Thanks in advance

Technology has been improving for ages and this development has been affecting people significantly especially relationships people have. Through technology, relationships of people were accelerated, facilitated and it became more entertaining. In addition to these positive effects also there are negative aspects.

Firstly,technology has facilitated communication of people.Today, people can talk to another person effortlessly because there is internet and moreover there are a lot of communication system on our mobilephones such as whatsup, line, wechat, and skype.If we have an internet which is very easy anymore whenever we want to speak to someone else, we can do it.In the past, when we wanted to hear an our relative's voice we had to walk or drive kilometres in order to reach telephone central

Secondly,technology has turned into our relationships more and more an entartaning condition. In these days, a lot of game has been popular so people can play a game each other such as okey, backgammon. Even someone can send a present to somebody through these games for example flower.

Thirdly, developed technology accularated our life. Today people can travel by bus, train or plane quickly. For example; a person who lives in Turkey can go from west of Turkey to east of Turkey in approximately in 3 hours for meeting or visiting.

As a negative aspect, it is getting harder to lie people. Because, somebody can reach you or someone can know where you are easily even if you do not want to say it. As a resul of this, we have to tell the truth.

In conclusion, When we think all aspects of developed technology, positive aspects are much more than negative aspects. Although there are alot of advantages, there are even a little disadvantages.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 22, 2014   #2
Hi, I suggest you to collect all the positive explanation in one body paragraph, and the negative in the another body paragraph. This makes reader more suitable to read your essay.
Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 23, 2014   #4
nice introduction :)

but problem with the formatting obviously.

check grammar for this sentence :

.If we have an internet which is very easy anymore whenever

:)
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 4, 2014   #5
Firstly,technology has facilitatedbeen used for effective communication of people.Today, people can talk to another person effortlessly because there is internet and moreover there are a lot of communication systemapplications on our mobile phones such as whatsup, line, wechat, and skype.If we have anthe Internetinternet which is very easy anymore whenever we wantenables us to speak towith someone else, we can do itirrespective of geographical or time barriers.
Arun0506 27 / 120 34  
Mar 4, 2014   #6
Hi,

Technology has been improving for ages and this development has been affecting people significantly especially relationships people have

Rapid development in technologies has been significantly influencing people's life in various aspects, in particular, the way people make relationships with others .

Try to use phrasal Nouns like significantly influencing

Through technology, relationships of people were accelerated, facilitated and it became more entertaining. In addition to these positive effects also there are negative aspects.

After your hook statement you need tell about the background of your topic and then state your opinion.

Good Luck !!!
Serapke 8 / 14  
Mar 4, 2014   #7
Technology has been improving for ages and this development has been affecting people significantly especially relationships people have.

You should rewrite this sentence. It just doesn't sound well.

In addition to these positive effects also there are negative aspects.

I think, you need to revise how the structure of the sentence should look like.

However, technologies have a negative side, too. Should be something like this.
anselzhang 4 / 4  
Mar 4, 2014   #8
Honestly, I think your vocabulary range is small,
too many simple sentence,
you don't extent your view
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 17, 2014   #9
Hellooooo...,

Dumi has shown you how to deal with the best structure. What you do is to adjust.
Also, Arun0506 helps you write the opening sentence for intro in your essay.
Then Pahan has guided you firmly towards the grammatical mechanics.

So what can I do for you? :D
Okay, a few details:
Two questions to answer. Working with this essay, both questions must be covered.
Were I you, I started analyzing the prompt, like this;
Fact: Nowadays the way many people intearact with each other has changed because of technology.
Question 1: In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? (One paragraph)
Question 2: Has this become a positive or negative development? (One paragraph)

whatsup, line, wechat, and skype

and

bus, train or plane

You must be consistent in your use of your chosen convention; either use the comma before 'and' all the time or not all.

Because, somebody can reach you or someone can know where you are easily even if you do not want to say it

...Called sentence fragment, writing incomplete sentences.
Correct by writing completing the sentences... ----> It is because somebody can reach..

a negative aspect

A difficult aspect. It is all about collocation, how words are often used together.

Good luck :)


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