Lets's look at the third paragraph.
Films, instead, are great forms of art and I think that they have only advantages. Films tell us a story or event in history or simply a comedy. It is a good way to stay with our family or friends.
There are three sentence and none of them are related.
I don't mean to be harsh but the flow of idea is fundamentally lacking. Organization is lacking. I am not a good writer myself but I still did not find your essay can be told good.
Let me try to rewrite the third paragraph......
Films, unlike television or radio, mostly have advantages. They not only entertain us, but at the same time provide wide useful information. Through the effective audio visual effect, messages for society can be disseminated effectively. [Example.............A depth analysis of movie Titanic would help its viewer not only to refreshen their mind after some dull task but also help understand the social class system in great Britain in early twentieth century............ ]
Please help with my essay