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The Meaning of Silence- a research project


HongKong 1 / -  
Apr 8, 2012   #1
This is supposed to be a research project on The Meaning of Silence. 20 marks goes to the structure and content of the research, 20 to language and grammar, 15 to appropriate in-text citations, and 5 to complete and appropriately (MLA) formatted list of works cited. Just as long as I pass I'm happy. I'm not aiming for a 90, just a pass. I have this irrational fear that I will fail all my classes and end up working at McDonalds my whole life...

When you put the words "meaning" and "silence" together, chances are no one will able to see the connection. To most, silence is simply taken at face value; the opposite of sound. And while technically this is true, there is a lot more to silence than we think. Silence can mean many things because it's so ambiguous. It can replace speech to show feelings. It can express many different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. It can also enforce social standards and etiquette that we seamlessly follow without thinking, or simply be our way to cope with the world around us. The truth is, everyone can understand the meaning of silence whether they realize it or not. We've understood it since birth.

Before explaining how silence is used and understood in our daily life, it is important to understand what silence really means, and how it is an extended form of communication, especially in comparison to speech. Despite silence being the most ambiguous type of communication, it is still, nonetheless, communication. Adam Jaworski, in his book, "The Power of Silence", tries to answer the question, "Is silence just the absence of noise, or is there something deeper than defines silence- something we'd do well to understand, contemplate and invite into our lives?" (115). When it comes to silence me must know and understand that not all humans are made the same and naturally, some will depend more on silence to express their emotions while some will depend on it less. We call this "powerful speech" vs "powerless speech." Someone who has a harder time putting their ideas or emotions into words, "powerless speech" will tend to be more silent; or get their point across in non-verbal communication. Rather, someone who has a "powerful" speech will tend to use less non-verbal communication and use speech to let others understand what they are trying to say. (Jaworski 115-116). Those who use powerless speech are more inclined to not only use non-verbal communication themselves, but also be more adept to pick up non-verbal communication from others (Lynch 75). That is to say, powerless speech types can understand quicker what a certain silence means in a given context, compared to those who are powerful speech; that need auditory help to understand the clearer picture. (Jaworski 117).

It has been found that gender, as well as ethnicity can form whether you are a powerless speech type or a powerful speech type. While many would assume that women would be more inclined to be powerless speech types due to the perceived view that women are more "in touch" with their feelings, studies have shown that there are more men who are powerless speech types rather than women (La Forge 379). Men tend to work better by themselves or in silence, while women fear being by themselves and seem to work better in bigger groups, where common goals are shared. (La Forge 380). Further tests showed an American group, a Mexican group, and a Japanese group all learning a foreign language. The Japanese males, preferred to learn the language on their own, without being bothered while the females needed the support of a big group to learn the language. However noted between both the male Japanese students and the female Japanese students were their willingness to learn the new language, despite whichever method they preferred. The males and females of the American and Mexican group, while showing similar patterns to their Japanese counterparts, also tended to slide back into their mother tongue, instead thinking about their "dreams" of living abroad and learning a new foreign language while the Japanese were simply determined to study the new language. This shows not only a difference between Western ways of thinking and Asian ways of thinking but also a difference between the way silence is thought of and used. (La Forge 381)

Silence in a social context is one of the many, subtle ways we communicate with one another. Ever since we were young, we are taught to be silent during church, during prayer, while in class at school, when we get in trouble, or even when we go to sleep. As we get older, most of these still apply, and we are learnt even more scenarios where we are required to stay quiet, like at a funeral or in the military. These are fixed situations which everyone must abide to. It is not just for some, but for everyone and we all have, at least once in our life, stayed silent during all these events.

However, silence goes far beyond simply, when to talk and when not to talk. In fact, silence is very decisive in deeming what is socially acceptable and what isn't. When you do something that is deemed socially acceptable, no one pats you on the back and tells you what a great job you've done, no. No one says anything because it is expected of you and people carry on with their day as if nothing happened. (La Forge 276). If you ever take the metro, you will notice that whenever an old lady or someone who is disabled comes on, around only a quarter of people will actually address the old lady or disabled person and tell them to take their place. Most will simply get up, without saying a word, and let the old lady or disabled person sit down with any exchange of words. And while doing something that is socially acceptable doesn't give a reaction, NOT doing something socially acceptable also gives us silence. Instead, this type of silence isn't a silence of social acceptance, but rather of social rejection. (Jaworski 61).Once again, if you take the metro, you will also notice that whenever you are on a train that is completely silent, there will always be two people screaming at the top of their lungs, having a conversation. Yet no one tells them to keep it down. Instead, no one says a word; perhaps giving the loud mouths a glance. This is not because we are brought up to "mind our own business" but because everyone else on that metro is working together to give the two talkative ones a hint to keep it down. No one will say a word, hoping that they (the two) will understand that they need to stop talking as no one else is. The silent ones on the metro are trying to let them know, "no one else is talking, so shouldn't you." This scenario is very different to the "fixed" silence contexts I had given before, yet they both very much social situations. These may be identified as being different culture types of silence and may be interpreted as having different meaning and functions but in essence, they are same (Jaworski 62). Another way silence is used as a social tool, by social groups, is the silent treatment; a manipulative tool often used by the more passive person in the relationship or group, usually as a form of punishment for something that the more assertive member of the group is supposed to figure out. This way, the more passive one takes no risk while the targeted member squirms and tries to please them (the group), figure out the mystery, pull them out of their shell, grovel, apologize, etc. It is a very hostile maneuver. (Lewis 38). Not only is the silent treatment used in social groups but it's also used in relationships; with the passive person being the woman and the assertive member of the group being the man. What not many people know however is that you can determine social groups and strengths of social groups just by observing its silence (Lewis 15).You can tell if a social group is close to one another by the way the silence is perceived. If it is something that has to be avoided at all costs, and everyone in the social group is constantly trying to keep the conversation going, the social group is not all that strong. On the other hand, if a group can stay silent for a long period of time, with no one trying to make conversation or no sense of awkwardness, then you can deduce that the social group is strong (Lewis 16).

Silence can also be a reaction to one's environment. That is to say, silence can be used as a way to cope with whatever problem you're faced with. Studies have shown that in a classroom of white women and coloured women, the white women will more often keep quiet, as a way of holding power over the class so that when she speaks, her opinion is highly valued and taken to heart. Women of colour however, may stay silent out of fear that if they speak, they won't be heard and no one will care about what they say. (Lewis 90). In some cases though, silence, may also be conditioned (Lewis 91.) She talks about a small child she knew who grew up in a house filled with crime. The child was constantly being told by his parents that he needed to help hide whatever evidence the cops could find in the house so "mommy and daddy won't go to jail." Till this day, when it comes to dealing with authority, the boy refuses to speak, as he's been subconsciously trained by his parents not to trust the police. His silence to the police essentially represents his childhood (Lewis 92). However, not all conditioned silence needs to be because of something negative. In fact, many monks and even priests take a vow of silence as "an unguarded tongue dissipates the soul, rendering the mind incapable of prayer." (Lewis 100).

One of the more obvious functions for silence and one we understood the older we became is its ability to convey emotions better than speech. And if you think about it, it makes sense. When we were babies, we did not talk; we cried when we wanted something, cried when we needed to be changed, yet stayed silent when we were content with what was going on, or when we finally got whatever we were crying to get. It was our first, instinctual way of communicating; sound and silence. It's absurd to think that as we learnt to speak and our crying converted into the words "I WANT!", our dependence on silence weakened. As Michael Lynch wrote in, just like sounds became words, our silence evolved to mean different meanings; different emotions. (Lynch 214)

One emotion dealt better with silence than words is sadness. Grieving, for example, is almost always felt more when the griever is silent rather than talking, as we feel noise is disrespectful to the situation which accounts for the grieving. David Eng, in his book "The Value of Silence" writes that when 9/11 struck New York City, the following days, after the dust and rubble cleared up, the city fell silent. After figuring out who had done the attacks, if their loved ones were okay, the citizens of New York had nothing left to do but "reflect and grieve" (Eng 5). All they could do was reflect on what had happened and try to carry on with their lives; no easy task, but it was a task done in silence, as no one was up to talking. It just took too much effort. . And how could they talk? Many people lost family and friends, their sense of security, and even sense of pride that day. There was nothing anyone could say that could make them feel better about the attacks; it wasn't worth it and wouldn't help. Instead, they grieved. They stayed silent.

Another emotion that silence seems to always convey better than speech is shock. When you're shocked, you simply have nothing to say. Your feelings are so overpowered and take you aback that you can't seem to find any words to describe how you're feeling. Shock is something you can't describe; you just feel shocked. No one can explain how intense or how pure your emotions are through words. Yet whenever someone stays silent and has his mouth and eyes opened wide, you can understand the shock much better than if it were to be explained to you how "shocking" something was. And when you feel shocked, you become speechless. Lynch writes that shock and speechlessness go hand in hand as they are a natural reaction to each other. (Lynch 226). You can't have shock, pure shock, without speechlessness and you can't be speechless unless you are shocked.

A good example of this would be when you are caught off guard. Usually, this happens because we are so shocked or caught when we least expect it. Take for instance, the show Survivor. At the end of each episode, the contestants for forced to vote someone out, usually someone who is deemed a threat to everyone else. However, most of the time on the show, the contestant being voted out does not expect to be voted out. He thinks he is safe in the game for at least another round and when you he finds out he's the one who's been eliminated, he never has any words to say because he's been completely caught off guard. The contestant never expected himself to be voted out so when it happened; he had no words for it.

Then there's disbelief. As Lynch says, disbelief is an extremely strong emotion; strong enough that a reaction to the belief is not worthy of a response (Lynch 217). He also goes on to write that silence because of disbelief is usually caused by two extremely different conflicting ideas. He gives an example of a conservative Christian home. The two parents are practicing Christians, strong in their faith while the son is secretly an atheist. One day the son decides to tell his parents that he is an atheist. The parents are in utter disbelief and shock that, they can't find the will to speak to the son for the rest of the night. He goes up to his room while they stay down, and the night goes on as if nothing happened. Yet that feeling the silence brings is very powerful; you feel the discomfort and shock that the announcement that the son was atheist brought. Despite no one saying anything, much is being said in that house. For one, that the parents are displeased with what their son said and two, they cannot seem to understand how it happened. Had the parents been okay with their sons personal beliefs, the silence would not be necessary as no feeling of disbelief would be felt by the parents. They'd understand and move on. But in this case, the silence is speaking much louder than words. (Lynch, 219-221)

As you can see, silence certainly speaks louder than words. It does not need to be studied nor researched; it is a language the entire world can understand. It conveys our emotions; demonstrating how we feel. Sadness and shock in particular, seem to be better felt as silence. It defines our social habits; how we deem what is sociably acceptable, whether it's deciding what the right thing to do is morally (giving your seat away), or deciding collectively what is the wrong thing to do (talking loudly in a silent area). Silence also constitutes a social group, its strength and how we act in one ourselves. It helps create our own idea of culture; monks taking a vow of silence, the idea of not speaking at a funeral. In a sense, silence is the Earth's mother tongue. From humans, to animals, to trees; silence is all around. You just have to listen for it.


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