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'mass media pays a lot of attention to public people's personal life' - toefl


NataschaAbra 3 / 6  
Jul 18, 2012   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television,
newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to
the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and
celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

There are two areas of life area: professional life and personal life. Professional life is our work activities . Personal life includes our family, our hobbies and our friends. It is very important to keep these two areas apart for the sake of your sanity and well-being, because you should relax sometimes. Some people are considered to be famous because a lot of people have heard about them. Successful actors, sportsmen and musicians are usually associated with celebrity status, so public not only knows a lot about their professional life, but also to wants to learn something about their private life. That's why mass media pay a lot of attention to the personal lives of famous people. I think, this happens due to several reasons.

First of all, some people may not be satisfied and bored with their own lifes and tend to envy successful people. People like to gossip and well-known people are easy to discuss because everybody knows them. Public people are prettier, better-dressed than ordinary people ,are believed to be very rich and also do these things, that others may only dream about, so they differ from others. People are curious about their personal life to get a demonstration, that public people marry, divorce, have babies, make crazy things, have bad and good times and die like ordinary people. This gives us hope that it could happen to us some day.

Secondly , people sometimes just want to relax and lie in front of the screen watching a soap opera, comedy or a program about celebrities. People want to get lost in others live story and forget about their own daily problems. They are happy about successes of celebrities and feel sorry for their failtures as if they were relatives of friends.

To sum up, I want to say that mass media pays a lot of attention to public people's personal life because it is just ready to meet our wishes , so because we are strongly curious about their lifes.
ana_p 27 / 81  
Jul 18, 2012   #2
Hi,

I like your ideas, but I think you need to arrange your ideas in a proper format with correct sentence structure. Plus, your introduction, "There are two areas of life area: professional life and personal life". try to write it in alternative words. (..just suggestion)

Please check with other also..

Hope this helps:)

Good Luck!!

Thanks,
Ana
tommyboy614 2 / 12  
Jul 19, 2012   #3
The intro "there are two areas of life area" doesn't really make sense. Simply try "there are two areas of life."

Also, in the third paragraph you say "People want to get lost in others live story." Try "People want to get lost in other people's life stories." To make it more grammatically correct.

In the same paragraph, "failtures," should be "failures."

Overall, you ideas are good, just try to develop them more.

As you can see, I'm kind of a grammar freak!

I hope this helps!


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