You've crossed the 300 word limit normally recommended by TOEFL officials.
I am not at allratified with the given statement because of some of the following reasons
"Ratified" isn't the correct word here. I'm assuming you're going for a word like "Satisfied", try going for a synonym.
But I believe in order to pacify a task one needs a
Again, "Pacify" isn't the correct word here.
The essay has a few grammatical mistakes you need to fix up. Now, onto the content. You say the Passion and endurance is what is needed for any job. However, I feel that you haven't developed on this statement enough. You can try writing down what it is about passion that makes a task achievable. You mentioned a bunch of names. But I think you should have given a short description of how these people became luminaries.