Hey everyone. could you help critique my essay for me? Thanks~
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.
I concede that consult other people's views when you make decisions is a sensible means for the reason that you can get many valuable advices and avoid making mistakes. However, I prefer to make decision by myself because it makes me more independent, responsible and my decision is more conducive to my development.
To begin with, in today's world, the problems we face are more complex and challenging, how to make the optimal decision sanely has become a standard by which the society to measure the ability of a person. Asking for other's advices is always a good method when you have to make decisions, unfortunately, you will not at any time have the chances to ask for help. Therefore, to be independent and improve your ability to make sound decisions are so important in your way to success. For instance, nowadays, many famous companies examine a person's decision-making capacity when in the interview. Once I have participated in a mock interview contest, I was asked by the manager of a company's human resource department"What should you do if your underling always raise views opposite to yours?" I must give my answer after I heard the question, no preparation, no suggestion, all I have to do is to make decision by myself promptly.
Moreover, we understand ourselves the best, so we should control our lives and determine our future by ourselves. For example, after high school graduation I had to decide what major to pursue, I like computer science which many people may think isn't a appropriate major for a girl. But I did't want to betray my true interest and talent for the sake of pragmatism, thus although many friends advised me to choose accountancy or art science, I insisted on my choice. And now it turns out to be that this major suits me pretty well.
In addition, we should learn to assume responsibility for the consequences of our own decisions. Enhance the sence of responsibility and do not always rely on others.
Admittedly, other people like parents and teachers can give us mant valuable suggestions because of their experience and knowledge, use them rationally can avoid us making mistakes and save our time. However, the final decision should be made by ourselves.
In sum, we can benefit a lot by making decisions. We enhance our ability, broaden our horizon and be more confident through this progress. Consequently, I disagree with the statement most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves.
personally i think that yours is quite good, but i am afraid that is is too long, isnt it?when u take an exam, there is not much time for u
The grammar is unfortunate. While your work doesn't suffer from the sort of extreme butchery of grammar that some TOEFL essays do, the mistakes you do make tend to throw off the reader. For instance:
"Once
when I was participating in a mock interview contest,"
"I concede that consult
ing other people's views when
making decisions is
a sensible
means for the reason thatbecause you can get
many valuable advice
s and avoid making mistakes."
"how to make the optimal decision sanely has become a standard by which the society to measure the ability of a person." I'm not even sure what you are trying to say here, and so will simply advise you to rephrase.
Also:
However, I prefer to make decision by myself because it makes me more independent, responsible and my decision is more conducive to my development.
Review the rules for parallel structure when writing sentences that list items.
