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There are lots of unfairness between male and female over the past centuries.


dltn88 1 / -  
Oct 12, 2009   #1
"Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject." To extent do you agree or disagree?

Hello~ this is the first time for me..to write an essay. plz give me lots of feedback!! :)

There are lots of unfairness between male and female over the past centuries. Most female had not been treated fair and they usually had been discriminated against male in many fields of society. Todays, the discriminations between male and female have been relieved more than past days. However, some people insist that more benefits for women are still needed in this society, especially education.

On the one hand, there are some sectors such as the Ministry of Justice and some departments of government which play a key role for society are needed equality of both genders. To work the same gender quotas in these departments, universities should accept the same numbers of students between both sexes. Since, these sectors are very important for organizing society, so equal numbers of both genders must be participate in these fields and reflect both opinions fairly. Therefore, giving fare opportunities to enter those sectors for both genders is essential for universities, and they should accept equal numbers of male and female students in such particular subjects.

On the other hand, giving equal gender quotas often make trouble in many fields. Some people insist that this affirmative action makes rather worse the gender discrimination, because it can discriminate against members of a dominant or majority group. Some individuals consider that it is more serious side effects as a 'reverse discrimination' ; People who have enough qualifications do not give a fair reward by reason of the equal gender quotas. If universities impose on the fields which do not need number of equality to be accepted equal numbers between male and female, it will cause inefficient and make the other discriminations.

To sum up, I agree with the policy of universities to accept same numbers between both genders 'in particular' subjects. In other words, I disagree with the sentence 'in every subject'. I think the way to stop discrimination is not make every field to be equal. The policy for balancing gender percentage should be accepted partly.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 14, 2009   #2
Verb tense and number agreement are giving you some difficulty:

There are lots of unfair events that occur between males and females over the past centuries. Most females have not been treated fairly , and they usually have been discriminated against male in many fields of society.

Hey, this is very thoughtful, very good. It shows that you speak English as a second language, but many students are still learning English. I is impressive that you are bilingual.

I think you should address the question in the first paragraph. Before that first paragraph is over, you should say:
However Some people insist that more benefits for women are still needed in this society, especially education, and sometimes they think quotas should be used to prevent discrimination. In this paper, I argue that it is necessary to take steps for promoting equality, but I do not think the use of quotas is appropriate in every subject.

Always let the reader know your argument in the first paragraph or two.

:) Good luck!!


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