Could you please critic my writing?
Thanks!
Some people prefer to live in places that have the same weather or
climate all year long. Others like to live in areas where the weather
changes several times a year. Which do you prefer? Use specific
reasons and examples to support your choice.
Although some people prefer to live in places that have the same climate all year long, other people like to live in areas where the weather changes several times a year. In my opinion, both scenarios have advantages and disadvantages. Doubtless, I would prefer to live in a place with a constant weather rather that a place with different seasons because I consider it is cheaper and makes me feel emotionally better.
Based on my own experience, I consider is cheaper to live in a place with a constant weather. I came from a country where the weather is very similar all year long. Although I had to be prepared for rain, the temperature doesn't have much fluctuation. Therefore, we do not have to worry about spending money in clothes for different seasons. I just used to buy cloth of accessories if I have the desire to do it. Here, I have a budget for each season. Even if I used the cloth I have from years before, I need to buy more because it is deteriorated. Especially in the winter time, gloves, hats and scarves are an issue for me since they are easy be lost. With regard to my car, In my country, I had a fixed monthly budget In contrast, living here, I need to have a budget to condition it for the winter and repair the corrosion caused for the salt and sand used on the roads to melt the ice.
Another reason to prefer a place that has the same climate is the sun light. Although fall and winter are beautiful seasons because of the change of colors and the exciting of the snow, the short days make me feel with less energy. In fact, when the days start to be dark early at the beginning of each October, I, automatically, start feeling depress. It is after several weeks that my body and mind get used to see that 4:00 PM is dark. Because of it we can not do much outside after that time. All the day routine in my family is changed. After school time we can not go to soccer practice and games, parks, neither playground. In contrast, back in my country I did not deal with the light issue. Although the sun light change a little bit the duration of the light's day, it doesn't interfere in outside activities. In fact, we have sports like soccer, baseball, swimming in outside pool, golf and other exciting activities all year long.
In my opinion, both, living in places that have the same climate all year long, and places in which the weather changes several times a year, have advantages and disadvantages. Because living in a place with same climate all year long can help me save some money and also for the reason that long days filled with outside activities make me feel with energy, I would prefer to live in a place with same weather all year long. Anyway, is it not always possible to see the beautiful colors of the fall and the exiting snow in a vacation trip?
Hi,
My suggestions,
around 500 words, It's not acceptable for ETS !
..more because it is deteriorated decrepit
doesn't does not
hitchhike,
This is the information I have regarding the words for a TOEFL Independent task essay. "An effective essay will usually contain a minimum of 300 words; however, test takers may write more if they wish".
Although I am working on making shorter essays, because of the time issue, I will love to know where did you get the information about the maximun of words. Just in case!:)
Thanks!
Based on my own experience, I consider is cheaper to live in a place with a constant weather.
...are an issue for me since they are easily lost.
This is great! You will do very well on the test.
This can be one word: sunlight
Congratulations! You write with very high quality!
Margarita,
one of my teacher, who taught writing, told about this limitations. By taking into consideration of time we don't have enough time, maybe 300-350 words are good.
..place with a constant weather rather that rather that or than a place with ..
