The sands of time have witnessed injustice innumerably and those responsible have been castigated.
This first paragraph should be change a little bit, I think. It's confusing, because you start off by talking about injustice an castigation, and you go on to talk about European domination of other cultures, then about changes in government.
I think the way to fix that intro is to remove the first sentence, because even though it is beautifully written it is beside the point. This essay is not about injustice. You can change it like this:
The sands of time have witnessed
injustice innumerable changes that make it necessary to modify and develop laws.
and those responsible have been castigated.Here are some small errors:
...millions
of others. Tw
enty-f ive years later the apparition of the tragedy still scares the people. --- nice sentence!! Nice use of the word apparition. Actually, though, an apparition is like a ghost you can see. Maybe it is better to write this:
...the
apparition memory of the tragedy still scares the people.
This is a run on sentence:
Law should not be fixed instead it should be flexible enough to account for various circumstances, times and places.
Law should not be fixe
d. I nstead, it should be flexible enough to account for various circumstances, times, and places. --- now it is a very nice sentence.
This is great, but I think you should give your thesis argument in the first paragraph, too. Write your argument: Laws should be flexible, and the judicial branch of government should uphold strong moral values.
In order to be a very good essay, though, this has to be longer, because the subject is so complex. It would have to cite sources like Hobbes and Locke, for example, to show deep understanding.
:-)