Internet advantages and disadvantages.

IELTS Writing..I need a lots of feedbacks..

Question: It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Using internet became an indispensable part of life for many people. However some people think that it has a lots of drawbacks. Before drawing a reasoned conclusion let us first discuss both sides of view.

First of all internet noticeably facilitates our lifes. It saves our money and time. For example if in the olden days people payed money for telephone calls, or wrote by hand letters and sent them per post, now we can send e-mail and make internet calls. Also we can make video calls and see someone who live away from us. In addition with help of internet we can shop, book tickets, see movies, without leaving house. Further internet is a great source of information. We can find there any needed data, news, movies, books.

On the other hand there are some feedbacks. To begin with, some sites show violen and sex images, and for parents it is difficut to control what their children see online. Some students use websites which offer ready-made assignments.

Also there are a lots of unreliable information in internet, and sometimes it is difficult to check where information originates from, before using it.
To sum up there are conviencing argument to support both sides of view, as far as i believe that internet is one of the greatest developments of twentieth century. And as long as it used intelligently it is an excellent way to communicate and to find information.

I doubt whether your essay contain adequate number of words it should carry for this task :( Seems pretty too short!
However some people think that it has a lots of drawbacks


First of all the Internet offers convenient and efficient solutions to our lives.


or wrote letters by hand
Overall, you seem to be having a good idea about the essay structure. Improve presentation of ideas a bit more. You write well :)

To be frank, your introduction is just boring. No interesting ideas or sentences which might draw interest. Just some well-known, obvious facts. You should link your sentences together less abruptly. Your thoughts must flow nicely.


If I were you I would put 'noticeably' at the end.


For example, if some twenty years ago people could only pay taxes by cash, write letters by hand and then send them through the post office, now we can send letters and make calls via Intenet.

Using internet becamehas become an indispensable part of life for many people.However, some people think that it has a lots of drawbacks. Before drawing a reasoned conclusion, let us first discuss both sides of view. - Give your own opinion.

First of all, internet noticeably facilitates our lifes .
For example,if in the olden daysbefore, people payedpaid money for telephone calls, or wrote by hand letters and sent them per post, now we can send e-mail and make internet calls.

Also we can make video calls and through online, see someone who live away from us.from a far place.
We can find there any needed data, news, movies, and books.