TOEFL ESSAY-DO YOU AGREE THAT YOUR JOB EFFECT MORE ON YOUR HAPPINESS THAN SOCIAL LIFE DOES.
Pleasw refer my essay as below:thanks ~~
Either job or social life has more impact to individual's happiness? Perhaps one of most convercial issue in today's society. Despite various response people may have, I given the chance, would agree that job affects more.
First, work renders us immerse happiness from economic part and buys us happy. Besides the basic living items we purchase with payment of working, money rises life quality. Delicious food we buy deliveries taste joy, journal we paid for hides surprise, and Spa we try give us relax. Even a lot of people are skeptical about money's effect, a survey, conducted by examining over 30,000 questionnaire, reveals that money are most concerned factor about one's daily life, topping other choices. Meanwhile, Money helps to realize our pursuit and dream. With the financial support, young man invests own business , old person goes to college for further education . All the dreams come true based on what work equipped us.
Secondly, work also impacts a lot on psychology. Some people may say it is not only money that defines happiness. Truly, working satisfaction matters too. Feel respected, own autonomy, and fulfill tasks in the working time that occupies more than half of awake period, make us feel recognized and needed by society. That fact that person who is out of employment always feel lost proves from negative side. A friend of mine is hard to get into sleep in night during the period she lost her job, and suddenly are curled next day being hired. Further by emerging of sorts portable appliance, work can reach individual anywhere and anytime, which reinforce the role work played in life. The person out of office are working by laptop, the person out of town can be reached by blackberry, even the astronomy, who is out of earth, are still working.
Nevertheless I am not ruling social life out of impotrant factors in life. In fact sometimes social life has turned out to be extension of job. Just to check how many people in mobile contact list are know in working will confirm the answer. We spend birthday party in office , we hang out with close co-worker for movie, and so on . Social life has been entangled with daily working gradually and we have got used to it.
In sum, considering the impact of work imposes on daily life, as well as the recent trend that social life has merged with job, I come to notation that work has the most remarkable effect on our pursuit to happiness.
In my own personal opinion, it really depends on the job itself. There are so many factors to this issue. Your job can be part of your identity, and it can be a burden, or a pleasure. I think that is the difference that they are asking about in the prompt question. If your work is tiresome or undesirable, then you may place much more importance on your social life ( although some people enjoy leisure time with coworkers, like "going to the bar" or playing a soccer game after work to release the stress of the day). Social life can mean so many different things to people- some like to party, some entertain, some chat online or do social networking, some go shopping, some go watch a movie or a sports game. Some play interactive video games. When you say "First, work renders us immerse happiness from economic part and buys us happy. I feel uneasy. this is not exactly a good point to support your argument. This may be the case for some people (that work=money=happiness) But for many people that work, the pay is barely enough to live, or they must work more than 1 job or long hours just to make ends meet. Also, when you say "That fact that person who is out of employment always feel lost proves from negative side" I think that you should remove the word "always" because not everyone that is jobless is unhappy, or they may be a student or being supported financially by another. Work on your conclusion, it is vague. You have lots of great points to make! I would just clean it up a bit, organize your thoughts in concise sentences and focus on convincing the reader of your viewpoint, while showing the other side of the argument to compare.
