IELTS :I would prefer to run my business than to own a new house

Hi all,

Following is an IELTS essay which I wrote. I would appreciate your feedback and comments on it. furthermore If you could tell me what band this essay leis in, I would be very thankful.

- I think send last paragraph and conclusion are weak. please suggest me how could I improve it

Thanks in advance.

Topic: If you have enough money to either buy a house or business. Which one would you prefer.

As important it is to have money, it is equally important to utilize it properly. Having secured enough money, people often find themselves in a double minded state. They cannot decide whether to invest this money in some business or to buy property using the same amount. However I would prefer to run my business than to own a new house.

First and foremost reason to start a new business is that businesses generate profits. For example, if you invest in a business you are more likely to make profit on your investment, which will improve your financial position. With earned profit you can either reinvest it in the business or improve your life style. Thus it is more important to run a business than to own a house.

Another worth mentioning point is that running a business gives you an experience which is not achievable through other means. You get to look at things from a very different perspective than you used to before. In addition, this experience helps you in other areas of life as well. Hence money should be spent on establishing a business.

To further fortify my opinion, being a businessman gives you a significant boost in confidence. This confidence is not limited to business domain only but also it improves your credibility in your personal life.

To sum it up, I would again emphasize that buying a house may seem a good choice to an inexperienced eye; however running a business is far better a choice considering the above mentioned arguments. I would recommend the holders of opposite view to reconsider their reasons before making any decision.

Hi . Your essay has some good arguments and you have been very effective at using rich vocabulary as well. However, I would suggest the following for you to look at:


You should consider using an alternative phrase instead of repeatedly stating "thus it is better to own a business than a home", as it is already implied.


This is a very vague statement, which you could back up and support more concretely through examples.

Other than that, you have done a great job. Unfortunately, I am unable to provide you with an indication as to where your essay would lie in terms of "bands" as I am not too familiar with the IELTS. But I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you phasetwozero for your valuable comments.

I am unable to understand what is the problem with following mentioned sentence. I would appreciate if you could clarify.

"The First and foremost reason to start a new business is that businesses generate profits."

is it, The and First both start with capitals ? or some other