'Health budget' - Prevention is better than cure

Recent development in the field of communication and media has created awareness among people on certain social issue which were ignored in the past. Highly developed awareness has sparked much debates. There has been frequent discussions about governments should cut its health budget from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. So, I'm greatly convinced, Prevention is better than cure.

On the contrary, health is a fundamental right of human beings. Although, it is completey right and extremely wise policy to focus on educating people about preventative measures and healthy life style, providing basic structure of health is also a job of governments. Still, there are certain regions where health facilities are beneath the standards. Many developing and third world countries lack in hospitals, skilled field force and latest medical equipments. In country like United Kingdom, a doctor is available for every fiftieth person while this ratio is very high in Pakistan that is around 2500 people per healthcare professional. So, governments should prioritize its efforts and address these problems.

Apart from the previous factor, the procedures of prevention hold the key to success that include certain factors. For instance, health education has deep and long term impact, and it is the best way to address certain health issues, such as, cervical cancer requires simple pap smear and its early detection ensures 100% cure at early diagnosis but almost imposible to handle at later stage. Moreover, diseases like HIV is still incurable and persists with its consequences. Although it is impossible to treat yet can be prevented by effecitve health education. Statistics demonstrate the cost-effectiveness of treating a condition in the early stages, rather than delaying until more expensive and prolonged treatment. Defining money for education on health will be a positive approach for governements.

An other possible way of defining that part of quotation, funding projects that demonstrate various ways of healthy life style, will contribute effectively to eradicate few serious issues that involve directly or in-directly in different health problems. Annualy, millions of people died of lung cancer because of active and passive smoking all over the world. People and governments are spending a a large amount of money on providing treatment which leads to vicious circle, the more money they invested, the worst situation is turned to be. Furthermore, awareness on healthy enivornment may play a positive role in defeating certain diseases like diahrroea, malaria and dengue fever. Especially, in third world countries where living conditions are poor. Governements should arrange compaigns and programs to create awareness among people.

Considering above mentioned factors, health is too important to neglect any measure to stay and become healthy. We effectively overcome diseases with bundle of measures and preventions. Prevention is a powerful weapon in this batle but not the only one.

------------------ This sentence is irrelevant to your topic. You need to talk about prevention against cure. Media is important to build awareness which is an integral part of prevention attempts, but you should talk about it later. Here you should introduce your topic theme to the reader. It is a must in the introductory para : )

Open with a statement that explains your topic directly and avoid vague or indirect introductions.

Thanks for your suggestion, I shall be more careful in future. But what about rest of the thread?
Kindly check new introduction as well.

"Health has been a focused segment since civilization. Not only, our ancestors were struggled to cope with health issues but also modern societies are facing a lot of problems. There has been frequent discussions, governments should cut its health budget from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. So, I'm greatly convinced, Prevention is better than cure."

Regards.

This is ok, because the topic revolves around health. So this as an idea a very good way to make your entry. But, personally, I like if you present ideas in a more simple , yet interesting manner. Tell them in a language that any ordinary person can understand. Here the ''focused segment'' part really does not go well with the topic of health. In management or marketing, the word ''segment'' is frequently used and sounds more appropriate. Health is generally associated with key words such as concern, issue, ... etc. Use the most appropriate tone for your topic as it is important for the reader to follow you in agreement with what you say. : )

Health had always been one of the major concerns of human civilizations.


------- Another possible way ( there is no ''An other'')

Well, I understand your idea. Actually, I have been working in the field of marketing for the last ten years, may be that's why I'm using these words. But my problem is, I'm attempting IELTS test on 8th December. Kindly guide me what to do???

I think, I don't have problem with my vacobulary but it is structure of sentences and its grammer.