Dear Friends,
I am preparing for IELTS and want to improve my writing skills. Could you please review my essay from all perspective including task response, lexical resources, grammar etc. I If possible, would you please mark me for a band on this essay.
There has always been a debate on Men and Women professional fields ye it has been difficult to decide. As per experts opinion men are good at real hard core jobs like working in harsh and remote conditions where women may not possibly think to work. However, women are proved to be fantastic at jobs that require no physical or tough conditions to deal with. The professions like army, navy or the air force are highly challenging and demanding professions where many think that men could perform far better than women as they are born to deal with real field hardships and this could be a firm and solid reason which is why women's are not allowed for these specific professions.
First of all, many of us would agree that the arms forces require extraordinary physical strength that enables men to perform distinctly with respect to women. Especially during arm forces training period, the men's undergo several difficult tasks including climbing over rocky mountains, shooting exercises, boxing tournaments, several push-ups rounds etc which require immense of stamina that women does not have. For instance, my own brother is captain at army, and I have personally seen the level of training he was undergone, it was so tough and challenging that many times he faced several physical injuries. Due to such tiresome, risky and difficult jobs many of his colleagues could not manage to continue the training and left the arm forces field. Having said that it can be imagined how touch arm forces field would be for women if they want to pursue their career.
Secondly, men are less emotional in nature than women. For instance, considering a war situation between two countries like USA and IRAQ, obviously there would be many killings at the end of both countries' which were at war. USA men soldiers fighting at battle were very strong and brave by heart that they did not hesitate to kill the opponent country's soldiers. However, if USA had put women at war instead of men, certainly they would have failed to win as women did not have that much courage to fight and save the country as men do.
Moreover, there are several responsibilities associated to a woman as a person. For instance, a woman as a wife and mother is responsible to look after her children and husband. If she is allowed to join arm forces, her family life would be ruined as her children will remain deprived of mother's love, and care, her husband and wife beautiful relation would start tearing apart and in result it might end up towards the separation of the two.
To conclude, I would strongly agree that women should not be allowed to join arm forces as it is in the best interest of nation. Instead they should pursue their career in research and development, teaching the kids and bringing up their children to excellent moral values and provide the nation with brave soldiers.
Could you please review my essay from all perspective including task response, lexical resources, grammar etc.
As long as i know that IELTS has many kinds of prompts; advantages-disadvantages, agree-disagree, extend do you agree or disagree, or give your own opinion. So, i cannot mention your task response if there is no the prompt completely.
Sorry, I forgot to mention task prompt. Here you go
Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
