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IELTS ; Growing traffic & pollution can be controlled by increasing petrol prices



sophialee111Threads: 2
Posts: 5
Author: sophie
   
Apr 19, 2011, 10:20am   #1
INCREASING THE PRICE of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?


As we read newspapers or watch TV, we have always been attracted by environmental problems such as traffic issues, air and water pollution questions. Initiatives should be taken to address the specific problems. As the impacts for those pollution and traffic issues are extremely far-reaching, it is insufficient to increase the petrol price only to solve problems, though it is a promising method discussed in the contemporary society.

Specifically, price control institution has been used in plenty of social areas, for example, in the farming products and in the real estate area; however, whether it can work out for alleviating traffic and pollution pressure ought to be evaluated. On one hand, governments have a macro-economic perspective to control price in various areas according to social demands. Consequently, it seems not easy to increase petrol price instantly. On the other hand, pollutions are not just caused by the burning of oil, chemical pollutants, extra lights, also constitute considerable amount of pollution. In addition, the improvements of work efficiency also attribute to the speed-up of working pace, resulting in traffic jams during rush-hours.

As illustrated before, several other solutions can be introduced to assist in reducing pollution and traffic problems. Primarily, authorities should spare no efforts in improving public transportation facilities, such as constructing more bus lines, in order to reducing the usage of private cars. Furthermore, temporarily targets should be set, with regard to the limitations of pollutants in a certain period of time, for example, a season. Plus with supervisory institutions built to find and address problems. Meanwhile, cultivating a sense of environmental protection would also work out, though it might not be into effect immediately, but in the long run, it would be a wise choice.

In conclusion, addressing pollution and traffic issues only by increasing oil price Is not adequate, while improving transportation facilities and building supervisory institution would be preferable, plus with the awareness of environmental protection being raised.



amylleiThreads: 2
Posts: 6
Author: Amy Liu
   
Apr 19, 2011, 11:37pm   #2
HI, sophie,

Just share you with my thinking, hope it helpful and let's improve the writing together.As for IELTS writing TASK 2,

1, We should clarify our opinion at the first paragraph direclty. From your essay, it seemed not so cleary. Do you agree or disagree at all?
2, Then we give the strong evidenct to support the opinion. For this essay, we should provide the evidence to show the way of "increasing the price" can work or cannot.
3, The following part is your suggestion. It's ok but you should polish the wording of connection of sentences.

Anything uncorrect, pls. point out. Let's do better from learning each other!


Amy


sophialee111Threads: 2
Posts: 5
Author: sophie
   
Apr 20, 2011, 09:11am   #3
THKS A LOT FOR YOUR KIND SUGGESTION~
I WILL POLISH THIS TASK LATER AND PUT IT HERE!
HOWEVER, CONCERNING THE POLISHMENT OF WORDING WITH CONNECTIONS, I DONNOT KNOW WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THE LINKING WORDS? COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME ?


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Apr 21, 2011, 03:01pm   #4
Pollution does not need an s. It is like the word water. You can have a little of it or a lot.
On the other hand, pollution is not just caused by ...

As illustrated before, several other solutions can be introduced to assist in reducing pollution and traffic problems. ----This sentence is great!

Primarily, authorities should spare no efforts in improving public transportation facilities, such as constructing more bus lines, in order to reducing the usage of private cars.---Another excellent sentence.

Furthermore, temporarily targets should be set, with regard to the limitations of pollutants in a certain period of time. For example, a season. -------I split this into 2 sentences. Also, maybe it is better to use the word goal instead of the word target.

Great job!! Not many errors. :-)




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