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Greed leads to destruction (welcome for help)


virak 1 / 3  
Nov 7, 2009   #1
In human mind is always greed. Some greed brings destruction and some greed brings improvement their living standard. Even though, all the people know that greedy bring more dangerous that safety, they try to commit it and they also created proverb if we want to get big fish, we have to spend more small fish. Should people greed or not? There are three things greed leads people to destruction.

First, greed leads to more opponents. Because of greedy people always wanted to get the great values. When they want to get it high, the other want to get it too, thus they try to steal it. Own possessions had to protect it so everyone become their opponent. For instance, the pearl story, Kino wanted to sell his pearl 150,000 pesos, but the pearl buyer gave the great values just 1,500 pesos. Thus, Kino decided to sell it in the capital. Because of Kino greed, the people want to get the great pearl they try to steal it, nevertheless, Kino tried to protect the pearl, so he killed a man and he became a murder. Thus, he had to leave from his village.

Second, greed leads to lost wealthy. Greed people want to improve their wealth; in contrast, they lost a lot of wealth for spending the way that can reach to rich man. For instance, the pearl story, because Kino want to marry in the great church, rifle and his baby get education. He had to sell the great pearl in the high price. In spite of this, Kino lost canoe which one inherit from his grandfather and also Kino's house was burned by the people wanted to get the pearl. The other example is that when economic increasing Cambodian people tried to sell the inherit lands and they continuous to buy the other lands. The profit that that they get, they try to show off and buy modern things such as houses, cars, mobile phones so on and so forth. As a result, when economic decreasing, all the things around them would become lower price. The lands that expect bring more beneficial, it turned back to become worst. The lands were no market, so they had to keep it. However, they should sell their houses, their cars, their modern things and sold their lands in lowest price because they have the bank debt that they borrowed when buy a lot of lands. At the end they lost everything because of their greed.

The finally the most important point greed leads to broken family. Because of greed, more people had to far from their house and their family. If they want to bring their family to go with, the members feel fear and living in difficulty. For example, Kino had to separate from his wife and his son because trackers followed him. So he uses his tail to prevent opponent to the other way and Juana and Coyotito should be walked the other way. All of them lived fear and worried her husband. In addition, some people commit suicide because they are stressful, debt full and they lost all their wealthy. Sometimes, some people in the family were died by opponent treatment. For instance, the pearl story Coyotito was died by trackers shot him in a cave of the mountains.

Some people claim that greed is not always bringing destruction, it also leads to improvement. When people greed, they had to strived all obstacle in order to their success. They had to work hard than before. Especially, when they stuck, they create more innovation to solve this problem. Furthermore, the greed people make fulfill strong feeling in order to live in the new life and prevent liar. Example, Kino want to sold the great pearl in capital because he think that the pearl buyers liar him and they want to buy in the cheapest price.

In conclusion, the greedy are more disadvantages than advantages. Greed people get more destroy and also lead them to the hell. In my opinion, I think that people should limit their greed and have to see situation around them. Moreover, they should search the proof and their ability to do these things.
Poojasugandhi 18 / 35  
Nov 7, 2009   #2
Hi,

Please find my review comment below.

- There are a few grammatical mistakes.

- Incorrect use of "That" instead of "Than" at one place.

- Violation of Subject Verb agreement at some places.

- Also, I couldn't see any logical flow of thoughts.

- I am not aware of the Pearl Story and so, couldn't comment if the inference drawn from it is correct.
OP virak 1 / 3  
Nov 8, 2009   #4
Thank you so much for your recommendation

I also know that I have a lot of mistakes, but my grammar is so poor and I also a little understand about structure.

Could you correct my grammartically and my structure? Thank you before hand for your helping. Today, I try to improve and learn more about grammartically and structure.

I welcome any suggest and your recommended to my English improvement.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 8, 2009   #5
Some greed brings destruction, and some greed brings...

Should people allow themselves to harbor greed or not?

One who owns many possessions has to struggle to protect them, so everyone become their opponent. For instance, one might consider the pearl story...

Because of greed, people had to live far from their house and their family.

You have some mistakes, but not bad ones!! This is impressive... I love your philosophical insights.
OP virak 1 / 3  
Nov 10, 2009   #6
Thank a lots Kevin that you help and encourage for my writing.

Big thanks !!!


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