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A good X ( Teacher, Roomate, Classmate, Friend, etc.)


CS800 1 / -  
Mar 31, 2009   #1
Hi everybody!

I wanted to write an essay which is about characteristics of a good friend, teacher, roomate, etc. In these types of the essays, I thought it might be better to find some common characteristics like generosity, kind, etc. I wrote an essay. Could you please revise it and tell me your opinions?

I know it is so simple but tell me how I can improve it.
Thank you very much.

My essay:

Nowadays more and more people begin to realize the important role of a good X in their life. Some people believe having a good X is not so important, but I completely disagree with them. Although a good X could have many good characteristics, I think a good X should be a kind, patient, and generous person.

A good X is a kind person. Kindness strengths all types of relations. In contrast, being unkind weakens them. For instance, during high school classes, I had a X who was an unkind person. All students hated him and they did not talk with him. While he did not respect to others opinions, these reactions were understandable. On the other hand, I had a X who was the epitome of kindness, all students liked him. He helped, listened and respected to other students. Moreover, Kindness Usually comes with patience.

A good X is a patient person. An X who is impatient could not be a good X. Impatient people rapidly decide and get angry, and after that rapidly change their decision. This behavior is annoying. Consequently, being patient can be helpful for a durable and logical relation. Moreover, being generous is another factor of choosing a friend.

A good X is a generous person. An X who is a jealous person could not be a good X. In these days we could not find many people who are generous. A generous person is willing to lend a hand when you need a little help. When you go through a crisis, like a death in the family, a good X volunteers to help in any way he can.

Taking into account all these factors we can safety draw the conclusion that if you have an X who is kind, patient,and generous, you are so lucky. The more good X you have, the more lucky you. Aren't you?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 31, 2009   #2
In the last sentence of the second paragraph you should not capitalize the words "kindness" and "usually." That was just an oversight, I bet.

I like your topic, definitely something everyone can relate with. however...

This essay is boring! What is the purpose of this? Everyone writes essays in order to complete assignments, but we forget the original purposes of essays. When people have been struck by important ideas, when they have been overwhelmed by inspiration about something that takes a bit of time to explain... they are COMPELLED to write an essay.

What is it that you really want to say? You wrote: I want to write an essay which is about characteristics of a good friend, teacher, roomate, etc. But if you are a sincere essayist, you will say, for example, "I want to write an essay that expresses my idea that the qualities that make someone a good person are not necessarily the qualities that make a good roommate." See, that is a specific idea.

Or can you write an essay that says, "The five, essential prerequisites for being a good roommate are..."

Make the essay meaningful. To do that, you have to use your own wisdom. Use what you have figured out about life to write an essay that is truly thoughtful.

(I think a good roommate is someone who practices "mindfulness" in the way Thich Nhat Hanh writes about...)
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Apr 1, 2009   #3
You really need to pick one X. (Teacher, Roommate, Classmate, Friend, etc.). Anything general enough to fit all of these is going to be so vague as to be meaningless. Now, the difference in qualities that separate a good teacher from a good roommate, for example, is much more interesting. Alternatively, perhaps you could write an essay about what makes a person good as a person. In other words, what makes a person a decent human being. If you take that approach, though, you will need to consider carefully the benefits and drawbacks of every personality trait. Generosity is good, unless it makes you a sucker for every con man. Ambition is great, until you start trampling over people to attain your goals. Patience is a virtue, until it becomes laziness, etc. This approach would require you to be genuinely thoughtful in your assessment of what constitutes the good, which in turn would yield, hopefully, an interesting essay.


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